Dr. John Sturgis: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Dr. John Sturgis: I was hoping I could pick your brain about some of the latest breakthroughs in string theory. And, uh, maybe we keep this between us. Uh, Dr. Linkletter doesn't need to know. [Sheldon opens his door wider] Grant?
Dr. Linkletter: John.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't believe you went to Sheldon behind my back.
Dr. Linkletter: You're doing the same exact thing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah, well, you did it first!
Sheldon: In or out? I don't have all night. [John flashes a quick smile and walks in]

George: How was your nap?
Mandy: I've had better.
Georgie: Hey. A guy talks out of his butt, I laugh.
Mandy: Dr Pepper came out your nose.
Georgie: Yeah, when words came out of his butt.

George: Okay. Mare, this is where you hand the baby back and let them leave.
Mary: I'm just soaking her up.
George: They don't live in Kansas. [chuckles] You can see 'em whenever you want.
Mary: Okay, well, Nana loves you. Nana's the best. Nana. Nana, Nana, Nana.
George: All right, Nana, take it down a notch.
Mary: Okay. Bring her back anytime. I mean it, anytime.
George: I think they got it.
Georgie: We got it.
Mary: Bye.

Coach Wilkins: Mm, mm. Booth just opened up. Y'all want to move over?
Principal Petersen: Booth? We're not on a date. I don't want our knees rubbing up on each other.
Coach Wilkins: Well, excuse me for wanting to be comfortable.
Principal Petersen: George, you believe this guy? He wants to sit in a booth.
George: [chuckles] What? Oh, yeah. Come on, Wayne we're not on a date.
Principal Petersen: I just made that joke. Get your head in the game.
George: Sorry, I... I'm a little distracted.

Coach Wilkins: All right, what's going on?
George: We were babysitting the granddaughter. I'm worried Mary's got a little baby fever.
Principal Petersen: You tell her about Russ?
George: 'Course I told her about Russ.
Principal Petersen: Poor bastard's shuffling around like a zombie.
Coach Wilkins: [laughs] And Russ is in shape. [chuckles] You can't go around chasing after a baby.
George: Hey, I'll have you know I got up off the floor all by myself today.
Coach Wilkins: Of course you did.

Principal Petersen: Just because she's having fun with your grandkid doesn't mean she wants more babies.
George: I don't know. She's definitely brought it up before.
Principal Petersen: Oh, boy. There's gonna be a new zombie in town.
Coach Wilkins: Chunky zombie. [Wilkins and Petersen laugh]

Mary: Tell me you don't miss their sweet little faces.
George: That's why we took pictures.
Mary: It's not the same as rocking 'em to sleep at night.
George: Until they wake you up at 3:00 a.m.
Mary: And smelling their little heads.
George: Really? That's the smell you remember?
Mary: Come on. It wasn't that bad.
George: It wasn't, but... we were younger then.
Mary: I'm not saying we should try for another one.
George: Great.
Mary: I'm just saying, if there was an accident... it might be a happy accident.
George: Mm-hmm. I guess it's in God's hands.
Mary: I guess it is.

George: I'm here about a vasectomy.
Anita: Actually, our earliest appointment is in three weeks.
George: Hmm. That long, huh?
Pat: [enters from patient room] I can't do it. I cannot do it.
Anita: Something may have just opened up.

[George lumbers into the kitchen, opens the freezer, takes out a bag of frozen peas and applies it to his crotch]
Missy: You don't do that to all the food, do you?
George: I got hurt at practice.
Missy: Blow your whistle too hard?
George: Funny.
Missy: Well, you make it easy.
Mary: George, what happened?
George: Pulled a muscle at practice.
Missy: [o.s.] Also, I'm never eating peas again.

Mary: [yawns] I'm going to bed. You coming?
George: Nah, I think I'm just gonna stay here.
Mary: You sure you're okay?
George: Yeah, I'll be fine.
Mary: Look at us. It's 9:00, I'm exhausted. [George chuckles] You got hurt watching other people exercise. [laughs] I can't believe I thought we could handle another baby.
George: [sighs] Really?
Mary: Oh. CeeCee's all we need.
George: Well, if that's how you feel, I support it.
Mary: Good night.
George: Hey, before you go... could you swap me out?
Mary: Broccoli or corn?
George: Surprise me.
[As Mary walks away with the frozen vegetables, George looks down at his crotch and sighs]