George: You want your boss living next door?
Mary: Not exactly.
Sheldon: You don't have to worry about your boss. There's a district rule that says that Principal Petersen cannot live next door to me.
Missy: That sounds made-up.
Sheldon: A principal who tells lies. What are we gonna do with this one?

Dale: Hey, uh, Cooper, you know, I think I'm gonna have you sit this one out and let Powell pitch.
Missy: Really?
Dale: Yeah. Kind of like to save your arm for the playoffs, okay?
Missy: Okay.
Billy Sparks: Do you want to save my arm, too?
Dale: No.
Billy Sparks: How about my legs?
Dale: You know, Billy, you never fail to brighten my day.
Billy Sparks: Cool.

["Turkey in the Straw" plays nearby]
Missy: Ice cream. Ice cream, Mom... can I?
Mary: Sure.
Missy: Ice cream! [runs off]
Mary: Don't you need money?
Missy: I need money! [runs back] Thank you.
Mary: Don't run!

Meemaw: So if you want to be his girlfriend and he wants to be your boyfriend, what's the problem?
Missy: He also plays baseball, and this weekend... I have to pitch against him.
Meemaw: Yeah, so?
Missy: So if I strike him out, he might get mad and break up with me.
Meemaw: Well, why would he do that?
Missy: I've struck out a bunch of boys. They all get real mad.
Meemaw: You're gonna pitch bad to him on purpose?
Missy: I was thinkin' about it.
Meemaw: That is not what you are gonna do. You are gonna do your best, and if you strike him out, he will respect you for it.
Missy: I don't know. When I struck out Brian Morgan, he cried. Now everyone calls him Cryin' Brian.
Meemaw: [chuckles] That's pretty funny.
Missy: Thanks, I started it.

Meemaw: So, you playin' the Tigers on Saturday?
Dale: Should be an easy win. Their best player's parents are getting a divorce. He's pretty distracted.
Meemaw: Well, there's a lucky break.
Dale: I just hope it drags out through playoffs.

Meemaw: So how you feel about not pitchin' Missy?
Dale: Why would I do that?
Meemaw: Well, she's growin' up and she's going through some new stuff...
Dale: Oh, I don't want to hear about that.
Meemaw: No, no, no, she's... She's got a crush on a boy on the other team, and she's worried that if she strikes him out, that it will embarrass him.
Dale: Well, that's too bad, she's our pitcher. She's gonna do her job.
Meemaw: Well, she's also an 11-year-old girl with big feelings.
Dale: And I'm a cranky old man with no feelings.
Meemaw: Well, I've always thought that underneath that tough exterior, there was a shred of compassion.
Dale: Yeah, I know what you're doing.
Meemaw: What am I doing?
Dale: You're using your feminine wiles to get your way.
Meemaw: Mm-mm-mm. Smart and handsome.
Dale: You forgot tall.

Jeremy: [dramatically] Don't say that. Never... say that. Goonies... never say die.
Mr. Lundy: Well done. Very moving. And speaking of moving, if any of your parents are in the market for a two-bedroom, two-bath ranch-style with a updated kitchen, have them give me a call. All right, very good. How about next week we try some monologues from actual theater? Just a thought.

Mary: Well, I'm sure there are lots of wonderful houses out there. I'd be happy to help you look.
Pastor Jeff: Do you not want us to look at the one next to you?
Mary: Oh, no, of course not. You should absolutely look at it. As well as other houses.
Pastor Jeff: I have to say, this isn't the reaction I was expecting.
Mary: No, it is the reaction you were expecting. [chuckles] Excited that my boss might live next door to me. Yay!
Pastor Jeff: Well, my boss lives everywhere, and you don't see me getting weird about it.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Mr. Lundy. I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Mr. Lundy: Oh. What's going on?
Sheldon: My mother has forbidden me from helping you sell the house.
Mr. Lundy: [dramatically] That... is beyond bad news. I don't think I can do this alone.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. It's not me.
Mr. Lundy: No, I know it's not. Just enjoyed being in the trenches with you.
Sheldon: As did I.
Mr. Lundy: All right, Sheldon, I... I guess I'll see you in the halls.
Sheldon: Again, I'm sorry.
Mr. Lundy: Me, too. [Sheldon exits] And scene.

Missy: He held my hand!
Meemaw: High five!
Missy: Don't touch it!

Sheldon: What's going on?
Mary: It looks like Pastor Jeff and Robin are gonna move in next door.
Pastor Jeff: And that's not the only news.
Officer Robin: We're expecting.
Mary: Oh! What a beautiful blessing!
Pastor Jeff: Hey, Sheldon, maybe someday you can babysit for us.
[fantasy scene of Sheldon cradling a crying baby in his arms:]
Sheldon: [singing] Rock-a-bye, baby.
[present:]
Mary: Where you going?
Sheldon: To apply for college.
Pastor Jeff: When he sees the baby, he'll come around.
Sheldon: No, I won't.