George: You want your boss living next door?
Mary: Not exactly.
Sheldon: You don't have to worry about your boss. There's a district rule that says that Principal Petersen cannot live next door to me.
Missy: That sounds made-up.
Sheldon: A principal who tells lies. What are we gonna do with this one?

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Ms. MacElroy: That's sweet of you for asking, but I'd rather stick my finger in a pencil sharpener and crank away.

Tam: Why are you reading about property code?
Sheldon: The house next door to mine is for sale, and I'm looking for ways to control who moves in there.
Tam: When my family moved to Texas, they burned our fishing boat.
Sheldon: Tam, we're talking about my problems right now.
Tam: We usually are.

Sheldon: There's no telling who could buy that house! What if they have dogs? What if they have birds? What if they have both and the birds learned to bark like dogs?
Mary: Sheldon, you're gettin' yourself all worked up.
Sheldon: For good reason... that house is six feet away from my bedroom window. Who knows what kind of smells could jump the gap? Uh, cigarette smoke, a scented candle, a durian?
Mary: What's a durian?
Sheldon: A vile-smelling fruit of the genus Durio.
Mary: When did you smell that?
Sheldon: I haven't, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Mary: It might be nice. It might be a family with kids your age.
Sheldon: I already live with a kid my age... not a fan!