Mary: [sighs] Pastor Jeff is right next door. Maybe I should invite him to join us.
George: Why?
Mary: So we can bring God into the conversation.
Meemaw: God let her get pregnant. I think He's done enough.

George: So, Mandy, what do you do?
Mandy: Right now I'm just waiting tables.
George: Well, people need to eat.
Mandy: Mm-hmm.
George: Mm-hmm. You know what I enjoy? That T-G-I-F Friday. They got a whole menu page, just appetizers.

Mary: I hope brisket's okay. Georgie wasn't too sure what kind of food you liked.
Georgie: We didn't do a lot of eating when we were together.
[Mandy gives Georgie a dirty look]

Meemaw: So, Mandy, your people from around here?
Mandy: Uh, Oklahoma originally.
Meemaw: Well, we won't hold it against you. [laughs]

Mary: So, you're Catholic?
Mandy: I'm not really anything.
Mary: But you'll be raising this child with some sort of religious upbringing.
Mandy: [chuckles] I haven't really thought about it.
Mary: Well, that's one of the things we can help with, starting with grace.
Georgie: Mom...
Mary: We're starting with grace! [all hold hands] Heavenly Father...
Mandy: Why not heavenly mother?
Georgie: [whispers] Don't, just don't.
Mary: Heavenly Father, bless this food and the hands that prepared it. And thank you for bringing Mandy into our family and watch over this child as he or she grows and becomes a God-fearin' Baptist, amen.
George: Amen.
Meemaw: Smooth.

Mary: I just think that God wants children raised within the bonds of holy matrimony.
George: Mary, they already made one giant mistake, they don't have to make another.
Mandy: So, marrying me was a mistake?
George: I'm not talking about us, I'm talking about them.
Mary: I think we all know who you're talking about.
George: You really want to do this now? You're honestly happy with how your life turned out? You have no regrets?
Mary: That "giant mistake" gave us our children who I love very much.
Meemaw: [whispers] What about your husband?
Mary: Oh, I love him just fine!
George: Oh, nice, put that on a Hallmark card.
Mary: What do you want me to say?
George: I want you to admit that this marriage hasn't exactly been a bed of roses.
Mary: Wake up, no marriage is a bed of roses!
George: Well, then I guess we nailed it!
Mary: I guess we did! And that kid is gonna be Baptist!
Meemaw: So, Mandy, glad you came? [tops up her drink from a flask]

Georgie: Thanks for coming.
Mandy: Yeah, it was... great.
Georgie: Okay, so, I'll talk to you?
Mandy: I guess. [Georgie leans in] What are you doing?
Georgie: Giving you a kiss good night.
Mandy: I think you've given me enough.

Mary: You're gonna have to introduce us to this girl.
Georgie: Why?
George: 'Cause she's having our grandbaby, you dumb son of a bitch.
Mary: George! But what he said.
Georgie: I'll ask her, but she's not very happy with me right now.
George: Yeah, I like her already.

George: What?
Missy: Nothing. ... I love you.
George: Okay.
Sheldon: In case it's not apparent, she was speaking for both of us.
George: Okay.

Missy: Makes perfect sense, they're getting divorced.
Sheldon: If they do, I'm staying with Mom.
Missy: That's fine, I'll take Dad.
Sheldon: And if he does die, you'll get the house to yourself.
Billy Sparks: You can live with us.
Brenda Sparks: Nobody's dying, nobody's getting divorced.
Billy Sparks: Except you and Dad.
Brenda Sparks: Just eat your dinner.
Missy: I wonder if our dad met another woman.
Brenda Sparks: [awkward chuckle] Nobody met nobody. You eat your dinner, too.
Billy Sparks: My dad's with another woman. She's nice.
Brenda Sparks: Dinner!
Sheldon: Which would be perfect with little chunks of hot dog in it.
Billy Sparks: Her name is Martha Jean.
Brenda Sparks: Billy!
Billy Sparks: [whispers] She works at a tanning salon.

George: You realize you have to tell your mother.
Georgie: Well, I just told you. Maybe we let it sit awhile.
George: [stammers] I can't know this and keep it to myself.
Georgie: Dale did. Like a champ.
George: [scoffs] Georgie, you have to tell her.
Georgie: Fine. Will you at least be there?
George: Yeah.
Georgie: And tell her?

[When Missy doesn't respond as Sheldon knocks on her door while she sings along to "Achy Breaky Heart", Sheldon leans in and grabs a plush toy from Missy's bed and throws it at her head]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: It felt weird coming in without being invited.
Missy: That's because everything you do is weird.

Missy: Where's Mom and Dad?
Sheldon: I don't know. I just got home and no one's here.
Missy: You sure?
Sheldon: It's a tiny house and Dad's a big guy.
Missy: Thanks for the heads-up.
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Missy: To watch R-rated movies until they get back, doy.

Mary: What do we even know about this girl?
Georgie: Well, that's the thing...
George: Buckle up.
Georgie: She's 29.
Mary: Years old?! Oh, my... [stands up]
Georgie: Guess we're standing again.
Mary: What kind of 29-year-old dates someone your age?!
Georgie: Obviously the kind that was lied to.

Sheldon: [knocking] [o.s.] Hello?
Mary: Yeah, baby?
Sheldon: [o.s.] I was just wondering where everyone was.
Mary: Uh, we're just in here talking. We'll be out in a little bit. Everything okay?
Sheldon: [o.s.] I'm fine. But Missy's watching a movie called Porky's.
Mary: I don't know what that is.
Georgie: That one's rough.
George: Not good.
Mary: I'll be right back in, baby.
Sheldon: Hmm. [walks away]