George: So, we've narrowed it down to five schools. We got Caltech and Stanford in California.
Meemaw: The left coast.
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: It is.
George: Can I continue?
Meemaw: Also known as the land of fruits and nuts. Continue.
George: And on the East Coast, we got MIT, Harvard and Princeton.
Meemaw: Damn Yankees.
George: We can't move the schools, Connie.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Georgie: [enunciating] Your mother has been helping me, and it has not been easy. But I'm going to keep working on it for you. Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
Mandy: See? He's tryin'.
Georgie: Try-ing.
Audrey: It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee?
Georgie: I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" [exits]
Audrey: Whom's?
Mandy: Oh, let him have this one.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.

Meemaw: An "A"? That's nice, sweetie.
Missy: It's Medford from the year I was born.
Sheldon: Aren't we going a little overboard with this "A" thing?
George: Hey, some of us never got an "A."
Mary: Really? Not even one?
Meemaw: If only they graded lunch.
George: I'll have you know, I love my body. [Meemaw chuckles]