Mary: Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is gonna be spending the night. If the kids could sleep at your place?
Meemaw: No. Bye.

Mary: George.
George: What? What's wrong?
Mary: The pastor's up making tea.
George: What, you want me to blow on it?

Mary: Go talk to him.
George: About what?
Mary: I don't know. Maybe you could give him a male perspective on relationship issues.
George: How about this? What if I close my eyes and pray on it?

Sheldon: These people clearly don't know what ten percent means.
Missy: What are you talking about? This is the list of all the people who belong to the church and how much money they donate. Dorothy and Fred Nelson gave a dollar last week.
Missy: So?
Sheldon: They own the Piggly Wiggly. They can afford to give much more.

Missy: Weird. You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry.

Mary: Really? You're drinking in the morning now?
George: What? Oh, look at that. Felt later.

Meemaw: Her daughter got kicked by a horse. They had to pin a couple of bones together.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, my.
Meemaw: She won't be stealing any more horses for a little while.

Dr. John Sturgis: A nickel. That's a silly bet.
Meemaw: It's 50 bucks.
Dr. John Sturgis: A thousand nickels. Less silly.

Dr. John Sturgis: I must say, uh this is a side of you I've never seen before.
Meemaw: You're all right with it, aren't you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, sure. When are you gonna give that man your $50?
Meemaw: Don't worry about it. Hit me.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm a little worried.

Mary: Ooh. Big TV, fancy.

Missy: Tell you what, Jody. Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, and see how much is in his wallet? Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God.

Mary: I'm surprised you're here this morning.
Georgie: Hey. I got to support my pal.