George: They are a weird-looking couple.
Mary: You want to eat at my mom's, too?
George: Oh, come on. You got eyes.

Mary: Pastor Jeff? Everything all right in there?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, yeah. I've just been praying, napping, crying. I like to mix it up.

Sheldon: Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time.
Dr. John Sturgis: Why are you going through the records?
Sheldon: I'm an executive assistant.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good for you.

George: What are y'all up to?
Sheldon: Just helping Mom with some church work.
George: Well, aren't you two great kids.
Missy: We like to think so.

Missy: Dang, this place is nice.
Meemaw: That's because it was supposed to be a date.
Missy: Cool. My first date.

Sheldon: Mom.
Mary: What?
Sheldon: "Mom" is also a palindrome. M-O-M.

Pastor Jeff: We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore.
Mary: In the '50s, people had separate beds. Lucy and Ricky did it. Their marriage worked.

Mary: I-I'm sure it's just a rough patch.
Pastor Jeff: Boy, I hope so.
Mary: Well, if there's any way I can make your life easier, you let me know.
Pastor Jeff: Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate it.
Mary: Oh, I almost forgot, um, Sheldon's here with me today.
Pastor Jeff: [unenthusiastic] Great.

Mary: I hope you don't mind, I invited Pastor Jeff for dinner.
Missy: That's fine.
Mary: I was talking to your father.

George: What's the occasion?
Mary: No occasion, just thought it'd be nice.
George: His wife coming, too?
Mary: No. Just him.
George: They having problems?
Mary: He's just coming to dinner. That's all.
Missy: You two having problems?
George: Are we?
Mary: No.
Missy: Pastor Jeff's wife is so much prettier than him. It's like Barbie married a turtle.

Mary: Pastor, would you like to lead us in grace?
Pastor Jeff: I'd be honored. Heavenly Father, thank you for this food. I pray that it nourishes and strengthens us, and bless Mary for preparing it. And thank you for the Coopers who have invited me into their loving home. They are a shining example of what a marriage can be.
One that I hope to have again someday.
Mary: Amen.
Pastor Jeff: And please give me the strength-
Mary: Sorry.
Pastor Jeff: The strength to walk this road with unconditional love and joy in my heart. Amen.

Georgie: What's he doing here? Y'all getting a divorce?
Mary: No. No, he's just here for dinner.
Georgie: Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness.

Missy: I'm liking my crock monster.
Dr. John Sturgis: Mmm. Me, too.
Sheldon: I can't taste anything after the lemon water.

George: At least he's not crying anymore.

Mary: So, Pastor, are you gonna try and talk things out with Selena?
Pastor Jeff: Well, we're really not on speaking terms, so I'll just be heading back to my office, sleep on the couch.
Georgie: That's ridiculous. He can stay with us, can't he?
George: Uh, I guess that'd be okay.
Mary: Of course it would.
Pastor Jeff: Oh. I couldn't possibly impose.
Georgie: Sure you could. In fact, you can take my room.
Pastor Jeff: Well, y'all are too kind.