Mary: Ooh. Big TV, fancy.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Sheldon: And then they laughed at me for not knowing something that they knew. Who does that?
Mary: You do.
Sheldon: Well, this is no time for a teachable moment. Your child is hurting.
Mary: Sorry. [taps Sheldon's shoulder] There, there.
Sheldon: I guess that'll do. Now, how about a hot beverage?

Pastor Jeff: Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this.
Georgie: It was our pleasure.

George: Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home?
Mary: He hasn't come out of Georgie's room.
George: Maybe he found Georgie's magazines.
Mary: He's a man of God.
George: You're adorable.

Pastor Jeff: For so many months, our little parish has been struggling financially. But by the grace of God and his provision, we have received the most donations in church history! Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
Sheldon: So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit?
Missy: We need to start our own church.
Sheldon: They don't pay taxes. It's a very sound business model.