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221 - A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

Aired Thursday, May 9, 2019
A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

Pastor Jeff stays with the Coopers after his marriage hits a rough patch. After Sheldon joins his mother at work, he and Missy try to wring more donations out of the congregation. Meanwhile, Dr. Sturgis sees another side of Meemaw when he joins her at a casino.

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Episode Notes

  • Title References: "A Broken Heart" refers to the breakdown of Pastor Jeff's marriage, and "a Crock Monster" refers to Missy's question about croque monsieur.


Quote from Missy

Missy: Tell you what, Jody. Why don't you go upstairs to your daddy's bedroom, and see how much is in his wallet? Don't worry, it's not stealing if it's for God.

Quote from George Jr.

Pastor Jeff: Mary, George, I can't thank you enough for this.
George Jr.: It was our pleasure.

Quote from Sheldon

Pastor Jeff: For so many months, our little parish has been struggling financially. But by the grace of God and his provision, we have received the most donations in church history! Praise Jesus! Praise Jesus!
Sheldon: So it's all Jesus, we don't get any credit?
Missy: We need to start our own church.
Sheldon: They don't pay taxes. It's a very sound business model.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home?
Mary: He hasn't come out of Georgie's room.
George Sr.: Maybe he found Georgie's magazines.
Mary: He's a man of God.
George Sr.: You're adorable.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: So, tough times, huh?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah. Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything about heartache and such?
Pastor Jeff: Psalm 147, verse three: "The Lord healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
George Sr.: Well, there you go-eth.

View more quotes from this episode

Featured Music

  • Vaya Con Dios
    Les Paul & Mary Ford

    Vaya Con Dios As Pastor Jeff tells Mary that his marriage is over.

Episode Trivia

  • What store did Sheldon say the Nelsons own?
    • Wawa
    • Piggly Wiggly
    • Ralphs
    • Stuckey's

Episode Recap

With the school closed for the day, Sheldon gets to join his mother at the church. After Sheldon asks how he’s going to be entertained all day, Mary says she thought he could be her little helper. Sheldon would prefer the term “executive assistant” as it carries more weight. Mary leaves Sheldon in her office as she goes to speak to Pastor Jeff. When she enters his office, the blinds are closed and Pastor Jeff is facing away from her, staring at a picture of him and his wife. When Mary asks if everything’s okay, Pastor Jeff mumbles so Mary tells him to use his words. Pastor Jeff spins around in his chair tells Mary his marriage is over.

After Pastor Jeff says he and his wife don’t even sleep in the same bed any more, Mary points out that in the ‘50s, TV couples did not share a bed either. Mary argues it’s probably just a rough patch, but she says if there’s any way she can make his life easier, he should just let her know. Pastor Jeff’s mood does not improve when Mary admits that she has Sheldon with her. Elsewhere, as Sheldon inspects his mother’s desk, he finds the church ledger book. When Peg walks by and asks how he is doing, Sheldon questions why the donation records haven’t been digitized.

As Mary prepares food, she tells George that she has invited Pastor Jeff for dinner. George wonders what’s the occasion, but Mary says she just thought it would be nice. When George asks if the wife is coming, Mary says no. Missy questions whether they are having marital problems. When Mary answers no, Missy wonders whether her parents are having marital problems then. Following Missy’s inappropriate interjections, Mary suggests that she and Sheldon have dinner at Meemaw’s tonight.

At the dinner table, Mary asks Pastor Jeff if he would like to lead them in grace. Jeff starts to cry as he thanks God for the Coopers, who have invited him into their loving home. He says they are a shining example of what a marriage can be, one that he hopes to have again some day. After the emotional outpouring, George says let’s eat.

At a fancy restaurant, Meemaw and John toast each other before Sheldon and Missy, who are sitting by their sides, do the same. When Missy comments on how nice the place is, Meemaw says that’s because it was supposed to be a date. Sheldon tells his Meemaw that he’s been going through the church records and has noticed she hasn’t made a donation in quite a long time. Meemaw says she and God have a deal: when he helps her bets come in, she gives him a cut but lately he’s not been keeping up his end of the bargain. When Missy asks about an item on the menu, a “crock monster”, John explains a croque monsieur is really just a grilled cheese sandwich with ham. Missy decides she wants that.

Back at the Coopers’, George struggles to make conversation as Pastor Jeff admits he doesn’t follow sports. When Georgie returns home, he wonders why Pastor Jeff is there. Mary says he’s just there for dinner. After Mary questions why he’s not hanging out with Veronica, Georgie says she invited some of her choir friends over and it turned into a bible study. When Georgie complains he does not understand the female mind, Mary asks George to do something. Pastor Jeff admits he can understand someone having trouble navigating the perilous waters of a relationship.

At the restaurant, Missy says she is liking her “crock monster” and Dr. Sturgis agrees. Sheldon can’t taste anything after the lemon water. After Meemaw says she’s happy they’re having a good time, Missy asks where they’re eating tomorrow. Meemaw says nowhere as she and John are going to Louisiana to do a little gambling. Meanwhile, Georgie tells Pastor Jeff about how Veronica says he’s the nicest guy she knows, says she only wants to date nice guys, and yet doesn’t want to date him. Pastor Jeff understands completely.

After Pastor Jeff tells Mary and George he can’t thank them enough for this, Georgie says it was their pleasure. When Mary asks Jeff if he’s going to try talk things out with Selena, he admits they’re not really on speaking terms so he’ll head back to his office and sleep on his couch. George and Mary are blindsided when Georgie says that’s ridiculous and Jeff can stay with them. Pastor Jeff says he couldn’t possibly impose, but Georgie is adamant and even offers up his own bedroom. Pastor Jeff says they’re too kind. As Meemaw returns home with Sheldon and Missy, Mary explains Pastor Jeff is going to be spending the night. When Mary asks if the kids can sleep at her place, Meemaw says no and makes a quick exit.

Later that night, Mary watches as a downbeat Pastor Jeff makes tea in the kitchen. Mary wakes George up and asks him to go talk to Jeff. George offers to close his eyes and pray on it, but moments later, George goes to the kitchen and sits down with Pastor Jeff. After George asks if the Bible says anything about heartbreak, Pastor Jeff quotes Pslam 147 about the Lord healing those who are broken in heart. Pastor Jeff admits he’s feeling kicked in the nethers right now and feels He is taking his sweet time with the healing. George tells him that having a happy marriage is hard work. Jeff knows because people come to him with relationship problems all the time. George asks for a sample, but Pastor Jeff says there’s strict pastor-flock confidentiality. When George asks if Mary goes to him with their marriage troubles, Jeff is not at liberty to say. But she does.

The next morning, Sheldon works to digitize the church records on his computer. Missy wonders what he’s talking about when says that people clearly don’t know what ten percent means. Sheldon explains this is the list of people who belong to the church and how much money they donate. He mentions that Dorothy and Fred Nelson, who own the Piggly Wiggly, only gave a dollar last week. Meanwhile, George asks Mary if the Pastor has gone home as he hasn’t seen him. Mary says he hasn’t come out of Georgie’s room.

At a Louisiana casino, Meemaw leads John to her favorite table, where she is very chatty with the croupier. After a woman comes to ask Meemaw if she wants her usual drink, it seems everyone knows Connie. John says this is a side of Meemaw he’s never seen before, but he insists he’s okay with it.

When Mary goes to Georgie’s room to check on Pastor Jeff. he comes out smartly dressed.  After Mary asks how it’s going, Pastor Jeff says good. He has this feeling inside that he should head home. Mary tells him he’s got to honor that feeling, as it’s God. Pastor Jeff asks if she wants to join him, as his wife is less likely to throw steak knives if they have company.

In the kitchen, Sheldon phones up the Nelson residence to say he’s noticed their donations to the church have tailed off. He understands their children’s education is expensive, but so’s running a church. Sheldon is excited as he gets off the phone, believing he has earned a sip of Yoo-Hoo. When Sheldon asks Missy who’s next, Missy says it’s Wendy and Bill Mackenzie. Sheldon recognises the name from Mackenzie Chevrolet, admitting they’re what we call “deep pockets.”

A deflated Meemaw is still placing bets at the table when John comes up to her to talk. John explains he found an old-fashioned malt shop place they could go to, but Meemaw curtly says not now. As John says he was hoping they could do something together, Meemaw snaps and says she’s getting her ass kicked there. John apologizes and walks away. After he’s gone, Meemaw puts more money on the table.

When Pastor Jeff arrives home, Selena is nowhere to be seen. Jeff finds a note in Spanish saying she is leaving him. Elsewhere, Sheldon is hitting up another person for a donation. Sheldon tries a few psychological tricks on them: mentioning what other people donated and pointing out it’s tax-deductible. After Missy comes up and whispers in Sheldon’s ear, he tells the parishioner that “at the next pancake breakfast you can hold your head high”. After Sheldon thanks them for a very generous donation, he tells Missy that the pancake line closed it. Missy says they are so going to heaven.

As Pastor Jeff and Mary drive back from his house, he wonders why God would send him home just to find out his wife left him. Mary says God doesn’t need her to defend him, but she points out He never promised Selena would be there. Pastor Jeff hates to say it, but he thinks it might be time to move on from being a pastor. Mary insists he’s a great preacher. Mary tries to warn Jeff about a red light, but he drives right through it. A police car with its sirens on follows right behind.

In the kitchen, Missy is on the phone telling a young girl to go upstairs to her daddy’s bedroom to see how much in his wallet. When George walks by and asks what they’re up to, Sheldon says they’re helping Mom with some church work. Elsewhere, Meemaw finds John at a bar and says she thinks she needs to apologize. John says he knows she does. Meemaw admits she gets a little cranky when things aren’t going her way. John asks if her gambling constitutes a problem, but Meemaw says not today. She shows him a wad of cash and offers to take him out to dinner. When John reminds her she promised Sheldon some would go to the church, Meemaw asks if he wants to see her get cranky again.

As the female police officer asks Pastor Jeff about his church, she explains she’s new to the area and has been looking for a church. Mary talks up the church and their pastor. When Officer Robbins asks if Mary is his wife, she explains she’s just the church secretary and he’s actually single. After Office Robbins says she’ll try stop by the church some time, Mary says he’s speaking tomorrow. When the officer wishes them a nice day and gets ready to walk away, Pastor Jeff asks if she’s not going to give him a ticket. The officer questions whether he wants a ticket. Mary insists he does not.

At the church the next day, Pastor Jeff begins his sermon. Mary tells Georgie she’s surprised he’s there, but Georgie points out he’s got to support his pal. Seeing Officer Robbins in front of her, Mary tells her to move fast as Jeff is not going to be on the market for long. Pastor Jeff says the parish has been struggling financially for months, but he’s delighted to say they have received the most donations in church history. As the Pastor and his congregation praise Jesus, Sheldon and Missy are miffed that they don’t get any credit.

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