Missy: This is weird.
Mary: I think it's nice. We don't usually get to chat, just us.
Missy: Yeah, I guess.
Mary: How are things in school?
Missy: Fine.
Mary: Still having fun at baseball?
Missy: Mm-hmm.
Mary: So, any boys you like?
George Jr.: [enters] Hey.
Missy: Thank God.

Mary: Where have you been?
George Jr.: Trying to find a job, but no one's hiring.
Mary: I'm sorry. Grab a plate and sit with us.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [exits]
Mary: So, where were we? Oh. Boys.
Missy: Georgie, come back.

Missy: You know this is your fault.
Sheldon: You're the one who read the letter.
Missy: You went in her nightstand.
Sheldon: I was only looking for a flashlight. It's not my fault Mom was hiding things there.
Missy: They're fighting 'cause you're a freak. That's your fault. You know I'm right.

Mary: Missy, how would you and Sheldon like a graduation party?
Sheldon: Why would Missy have a graduation party?
Missy: 'Cause I'm graduating elementary school.
Sheldon: That counts?
George Sr.: Of course it counts.
Sheldon: Yes, it's a big deal. She's going to a new school. New friends, new teachers.
Missy: Same clothes 'cause we're poor. [phone rings]
George Sr.: We're not poor.
Missy: So I can get new clothes?
George Sr.: We're not rich, either.

Kimberly: So act natural. We're just having a chat. I'm gonna ask y'all a few questions about Sheldon's high school graduation.
Missy: I'm graduating, also.
Kimberly: Really? You're graduating from high school, too?
Missy: No, elementary school.
Kimberly: Oh.
Missy: My class is singing "This Land Is Your Land." Want to hear it? [sings] This land is your land...

Missy: I'm glad Mom didn't come.
George Sr.: Why's that?
Missy: I can spit when I'm on the mound.
George Sr.: You can hock up anything you want today.
Missy: [snorts]
George Sr.: Not here.
Missy: Aw.

Missy: We need to stop so I can pee.
George Sr.: I told you to pee before we left the house.
Missy: That was an hour and a half ago.
George Sr.: [sighs] Can't you hold it?
Missy: I may spit like a man, but I have the bladder of a little girl.

George Sr.: Ready to roll?
Missy: Not really.
George Sr.: What's wrong?
Missy: It... happened.
George Sr.: What happened?
Missy: That thing that happens to girls when they're becoming young ladies.
George Sr.: What?! Now?
Missy: I'm not happy about it, either.
George Sr.: [stammers] Should we go home?
Missy: I'm pitching in an hour.
George Sr.: I... You think that's a good idea? Maybe you need to lie down.
Missy: I don't need to lie down.
George Sr.: Okay, well, maybe I need to lie down.

George Sr.: Okay, we're gonna find a pay phone and call your mother.
Missy: She's not here right now. What can she do?
George Sr.: Well, I don't know what to do.
Missy: We're gonna go to a drugstore and get what I need.
George Sr.: Go to a drug store. Okay, I can do that.
Missy: Breathe. We're gonna get through this.
George Sr.: [exhales sharply]

Missy: "I hope your arm gets better soon. XO, Missy". See? Nothing mean.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Adult Sheldon: My sister could have a big heart. If only that were true of her brain.
Sheldon: That's the wrong "your".
Missy: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: It's supposed to be Y-O-U-R. What you wrote means, "I hope you are arm gets better".
Missy: Oh.
Sheldon: You defaced my body with a grammatical error.
Missy: I guess that's your problem. Y-O-U-R.

Mary: Can we please just eat?
George Jr.: Chicken's good.
George Sr.: Mrs. Sparks made it.
Missy: Huh?

Sheldon: I did it. Missy, I did it!
Missy: [groans] What?
Sheldon: I slept through the night.
Missy: What time is it?
Sheldon: 6:14.
Missy: This is why people hate you.
Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.

Sheldon: Why did your mom make you?
Paige: Punishment. I got caught with cigarettes.
Sheldon: Why would you want to smoke?
Paige: To look older.
Sheldon: My meemaw smokes. I guess it works.

Missy: What's up?
Coach Wilkins: Watching the game with your dad.
Missy: Where is he?
Coach Wilkins: Getting yelled at by your mom.
Missy: Cool. [sits down]

Meemaw: Missy, help me out here.
Missy: Communication is important. I learned that on the Fresh Prince show.

[fantasy:]
Meemaw: Get out of my way. I'm a thief, and I'm opening this chest.
Dale: Have at it. I'm a paladin with a buzz on.
[reality:]
Sheldon: Success. The chest opens, revealing a scroll with ancient writing in a strange language you don't recognize. What do you do?
Missy: I say this is boring...
[fantasy:]
Missy: ...and turn myself into a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... ♪
Missy: This game just got good. High five.
Dale: Yeah.
♪ Heroes in a half-shell, turtle power. ♪

Meemaw: What?
Missy: You said you'd show me how to hot-roll my hair.
Meemaw: Oh, right. You still want to do that?
Missy: You're cranky.
Meemaw: So maybe I shouldn't be putting hot rollers on your head.
Missy: Meh, you're always cranky. Let's do this.

Missy: What do you think?
Meemaw: I think you're gonna be a little heartbreaker.
Missy: I don't want to break anyone's heart. I just want to look hot.
Meemaw: Well, that you do.
Missy: Thank you.

Mary: Sheldon, good news. Dr. Linkletter was calling to say that while you're at school, if you need anything, you can go to him.
Missy: Starting college and you need a babysitter. That's funny.
Sheldon: I don't need a babysitter.
Mary: Dr. Linkletter is just around in case there's a problem.
George Jr.: Like if he needs a new diaper?
Missy: Ha!
George Sr.: Enough.
Mary: Can we please have a nice dinner?
Missy: We could. But you're the one who wants to eat as a family.
George Sr.: [to Mary] Don't pray for any of 'em.

Missy: But I want to watch Fresh Prince.
George Jr.: Too bad. The game is on.
Missy: There's always a game on. Dad?
George Sr.: Sorry, kid, it's the Cowboys.
Missy: But it's the season premiere. Fresh Prince's family gets tickets to the People's Choice Awards. I'm not missing it.