Mary: You really didn't want to take that family portrait, did you? [kisses her hand and places it on George's forehead] See you later.

Pastor Jeff: So you were saying?
Sheldon: You've confused possibilities with probabilities. According to your analogy, when I go home I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. In what universe is that 50-50?

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.

George: Sheldon, I need to get in there.
Sheldon: Poop at Meemaw's!

Sheldon: We're going to jail.
Missy: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.
Sheldon: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
Georgie: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello. Yes, you can help me, Dorothy Fitzpatrick. I'm interested in taking out a second mortgage. I'm nine years old. Why do you ask? That's called age discrimination, Dorothy, but I'm willing to let it slide. I'm glad you find me cute, but I'm deadly serious. I need funds to buy a computer. No, the house isn't in my name. I'm nine. We've established this. I do prepare the taxes for my parents, and if we tighten our belts, we'll have sufficient equity for the loan.

Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
Georgie: Hey, I got plans of my own.
Meemaw: Do tell.
Georgie: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
Meemaw: That is hilarious.
Georgie: What? I'm good-lookin'.
Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
Missy: The model thing was funny, too.

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Congregation: [singing] Heart of my Own heart
Billy Sparks: [singing] Old MacDonald Had a farm
Congregation: Still be my Vision O Ruler of all
Billy Sparks: E-I-E-I-O.

Mary: All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. Barbecued chicken and brisket.
Tam: Thank you.
Mary: Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wiggling around on your plate.

George: How did I get a rocket scientist for one son and a rodeo clown for the other?
Georgie: Oh, man. I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. They make people happy, and they see the rodeo for free.

Vanessa: Where's your brother?
Georgie: Home.
Vanessa: Is he okay?
Georgie: Yeah, he's just- Actually, it's not looking good for him. He might not make it.
Vanessa: Oh, that's terrible.
Georgie: I know. I love him so much. If anything ever happened, I don't know what I'd do.
Vanessa: Aw. [reaches out and holds Georgie's hand, Georgie smiles]

Georgie: Thanks for waking me up.
Mary: I woke you up 40 minutes ago.
Georgie: Well, you didn't do a very good job.

Adult Sheldon: What was happening was, like many men before me, I was being seduced by the exotic world of geology.

Adult Sheldon: We searched for tektites in a nearby ravine. Tektites are natural glass formed during meteorite impacts. They also bear a close resemblance to raccoon feces, so I wisely adopted a "no touching tektites" policy.