Mary: Okay, well You have a good day. And I'll pick you up after school, same door we came in.
Sheldon: Are you crying or having an allergy attack?
Mary: Allergies.
Sheldon: It's probably the ammonia.
Mary: Probably.

Principal Petersen: George, you got any thoughts here?
George Sr.: I certainly do. Mary, tell him.
Mary: It's simple. We don't have a choice.
Principal Petersen: Well, you gave it a shot. We wish you luck with Sheldon elsewhere-
Mary: No, no, no. We don't have a choice. He's got to stay here. We can't afford private school. I sure can't homeschool him. He's doing calculus and Euclidean something or other.
Ms. Ingram: Euclidean geometry. Guess where I learned that.
Mary: Yeah, yeah, we know.

Sheldon: Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato.
George Sr.: Not possible.

Mary: Look at him. Breaks my heart.
George Sr.: Poor little guy, all alone.
Mary: I don't see why - his brother can't sit with him.
George Sr.: Come on, Mary. When you were in high school, would you have lunch with a nine-year-old?
Mary: Yes, I would've.
George Sr.: Well, there's something wrong with you.

Sheldon: Hello, Billy Sparks.
Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I am genuinely interested in you and would like to encourage you to talk about yourself. Billy Sparks.
Billy Sparks: Thank you. [long silence]
Sheldon: You have the floor.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.
Adult Sheldon: Looking back, I would've had better luck making friends with the chickens.

Mary: So your father tells me you've been reading a new book?
Sheldon: I am. It's about how to make friends.
Mary: Is that something you're interested in?
Sheldon: Not really, but Missy told me it makes you sad that I don't have any.
Mary: Oh. I got to sew that girl's mouth shut.

Adult Sheldon: The list proved to be a double-edged sword. It turns out self-help books written in 1936 were only of interest to adults. Emotionally troubled adults.

Adult Sheldon: Two years later, Mr. Givens became the high school principal, which might be why Ms.
MacElroy became morbidly obese.

Missy: [running through the kitchen] I ate so much candy!
Meemaw: [gets up to leave] Okay. They're all yours.

Sheldon: Mom, would you write a note for me?
Mary: Sure.
Missy: You have the coolest excuse. You almost died. Did you see Jesus?
Sheldon: I saw Count Chocula. But feel free to mention my brush with death in the note.

Ms. MacElroy: Remember, the food drive ends Friday. All canned goods are welcome. But please make sure your cans have labels. Needy people have enough problems without having to guess what's for dinner.

Mary: Why aren't you eating?
Sheldon: I don't think I can.
George Sr.: Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon. Not the end of the world.

Mary: He's nine years old and he's in high school, so you can't judge him like other kids.
Dr. Goetsch: I hear ya.
Mary: George, tell him about how he's always going on and on about subatomic particles and such.
George Sr.: Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't have to read many comic books to understand that every superhero had a weakness, something they had to overcome through an extraordinary act of courage. For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey. For Rogue, it was human touch. For me, it was food that required chewing. So if I truly was a mutant, I would have to do the same. On this day, I would not be defeated. Because this was the day I became The Chewer.

Meemaw: Is it your dentist? The little guy with the glasses? You can tell me.

Adult Sheldon: Many years later, my brother would use this same argument in front of a judge. He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth.

Mary: (to the guy who doubted Sheldon's tactics) Oh, booyah!

Adult Sheldon: For the next five weeks, I continued to help my father apply statistics to coach his team. Not surprisingly, they continued to win, which changed my status in the school dramatically. It was a nightmare. Hugging, hair tousling, high fives. And as my popularity grew, so did my time aloft.

George Sr.: You have any more, uh, arithmetic ideas for next week's game?
Sheldon: I do, but I'm trying to finish my homework.
George Sr.: Ah. Looks complicated.
Sheldon: Advanced chemistry. It's not.

Meemaw: Good Lord, that mouth of yours is a machine gun tonight.