Popular Quotes
Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run
George Jr.: This is serious. Sheldon, you've got to tell Dad that recipe.
Sheldon: But Meemaw told me it was a secret.
George Jr.: If you don't, and Mom and Dad get a divorce, it's your fault.
Sheldon: All right. Fine.
Missy: Good job, Soggy Pants.
Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair
George Sr.: Mary? Relax. I can take care of my son.
Mary: I know.
George Sr.: Good.
Mary: I'm just saying, if he's upset or nervous, he can get all clogged up.
George Sr.: I won't let that happen.
Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia
George Jr.: Okay, when you're telling a lie, it's important to throw in some details. Like, when I was wanted to spend the night at Ricky's house, and Mom asked me if his mom and dad were gonna be home, I said, not only are they be gonna be home, his dad was gonna teach us how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
Sheldon: I like turkey legs. Were they good?
George Jr.: There weren't any turkey legs, you dope. His parents were in Branson.
Sheldon: That's incredible. I totally believed you.
George Jr.: Details. Now get out of here, I got to finish reading this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Georgie, that was very helpful.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Sheldon: Ms. MacElroy.
Ms. MacElroy: What?
Sheldon: I'm wondering if you read the book you assigned to us, because I did.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Flora: Do you like string beans?
Sheldon: No. But I eat them.
Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo
Missy: You got my message! Hi-yah! [jumping across to Sheldon's bed]
Sheldon: No hugging! No hugging! [Missy laughing]
Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers
Pastor Jeff: Now before we get started this morning, I want to introduce two new students, Sheldon and Missy Cooper. Let's give them a warm welcome. (APPLAUSE) Yes, Billy?
Billy Sparks: I know them.
Pastor Jeff: Thank you, Billy.
Billy Sparks: You're welcome, Pastor Jeff.
Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer
Mary: Well, now, we're not exactly done shopping. Sheldon, you still want that computer?
Sheldon: I thought we couldn't afford it.
Mary: Don't you worry about that. Do you want it or not?
Sheldon: More than anything.
Mary: All right, then, let's go get it.
Missy: Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy?
Mary: I thought you liked it.
Missy: Not anymore.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Meemaw: Why don't you just get a babysitter?
Mary: Kinda defeats the purpose of making extra money.
Meemaw: Oh, yeah, right. All right, let's think about it. Georgie.
Mary: Football practice. And I don't trust him when I'm home.
Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey
Meemaw: I think they'll be fine home alone all by themselves for a couple hours after school.
Mary: You think?
Meemaw: I do. As a matter of fact, I actually think it'll be great for them. These kids today are so coddled, I honestly think y'all are raising a whole generation of sissies.
Mary: Is that the way you speak about your grandchildren?
Meemaw: Yes.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Mary: How's it going?
George Sr.: Well, I think I figured out the problem.
Mary: What is it?
George Sr.: I'm a terrible mechanic.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Mary: I hope you'll forgive me, I just wanted to meet the person driving my nine-year-old son to Houston.
Libby: I understand.
Tam: Me, too.
Mary: I wasn't talking to you, Tam.
Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman
Mary: She is almost twice your age.
Sheldon: There are people five times my age that are stupider than me.
Mary: This is not about being smart.
Sheldon: What else is there?
Mary: Well there's other kinds of maturity.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
George Sr.: Why's he want to study acting?
Mary: The doctor encouraged him to try something different.
Missy: Maybe he'll learn to act normal.
Mary: How about you learn to act nice?
Missy: You people don't appreciate my sense of humor.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
George Sr.: I'm trying to protect you, son.
Sheldon: I appreciate that.
George Sr.: Good.
Sheldon: You're a football coach. Isn't it your responsibility to put in the best player for the job?
George Sr.: I guess.
Sheldon: Well, I want to do this, and Mr. Lundy said I was the best.
George Sr.: Okay. Can you at least wear pants instead of a dress?
Sheldon: I'll give you a definite maybe.
Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo
Luis: Cooper. Your stop.
Sheldon: Would you mind dropping me off closer to my house?
Luis: You know I'm not allowed to do that.
Sheldon: What if I did your taxes?
Luis: Sorry, kiddo.
Sheldon: I could've gotten you a nice refund.
Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside
George Jr.: What are you eating?
Sheldon: An English muffin with ketchup and spray cheese.
George Jr.: No fair.
Missy: Lucky.
Mary: Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf.
Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside
Sheldon: Hello, Randall. I would like to apply for a job.
Randall: You would?
Sheldon: Yes. I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard.
Randall: I thought about going to Harvard, but then I realized The Shack is my passion.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Missy: Do you think we're stupid?
George Jr.: Sheldon's in college right now, and we can't figure out your homework. What do you think?
Missy: Sometimes I tell myself I only look stupid because he's so smart.
Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza
Dr. John Sturgis: O gauge trains are definitely the best.
Sheldon: "O", yes, they are.