Ms. MacElroy: Remember, the food drive ends Friday. All canned goods are welcome. But please make sure your cans have labels. Needy people have enough problems without having to guess what's for dinner.

Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like the other day, I told him, "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
Coach Wilkins: What's a framastan?
Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up. He was gone the whole period.
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] I'm using that.
Ms. MacElroy: Don't use framastan. That's mine.

Ms. MacElroy: Georgie Cooper?
George Jr.: Here.
Ms. MacElroy: Sheldon Cooper? Georgie, where's your brother?
George Jr.: I don't know.
Ms. MacElroy: Good enough for me.

Ms. MacElroy: That's sweet of you for asking, but I'd rather stick my finger in a pencil sharpener and crank away.

Adult Sheldon: Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. All that was left was my fear of dogs, birds, insects, germs, hugging, button fly pants, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, squeaky balloons, tinted windows, take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, that fuzz on peaches.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

George Sr.: If we take him to a shrink, it feels like we're admitting something's wrong with him.
Mary: He hasn't had solid food in five weeks.
Meemaw: Well, if there is something wrong with him, it ain't constipation.