Sheldon: Does she break wind on your head? Because that's what Georgie does to me.

Sheldon: Oh, dear.
George Jr.: What's your problem?
Sheldon: No problem. I'll just tidy while we talk.

Sheldon: $20 isn't gonna do it.

George Sr.: Okay, here we go. One, two-
Sheldon: I still think we should wait till the rain slows down.
George Sr.: No, we got to get home. I got work tomorrow, you guys got school.
Sheldon: You do realize I'll get wet?
George Sr.: It's just water, Sheldon.
Sheldon: All right. Just making sure you realize.

George Sr.: Buddy, I thought we had a plan.
Sheldon: You had a plan.

Sheldon: The toilet was sanitized for my protection. I love this place.

Sheldon: Dad? Dad? Dad? - Dad.
George Sr.: What?
Sheldon: Georgie keeps kicking me.
George Sr.: Kick him back.
Sheldon: I'd rather not touch him.

George Sr.: You want to sleep with me?
Sheldon: Yes, thank you.
George Sr.: Yeah. Got enough room?
Sheldon: Yes. You throw off a lot of heat.
George Sr.: Sorry.
Sheldon: That's all right. It's kind of nice.

George Sr.: Can I tell you a secret? I never understood how lightning works.
Sheldon: Didn't they teach you that in high school?
George Sr.: They probably did, but I got hit in the head a lot playing football. Would you explain it to me?
Sheldon: Well, when positive and negative charges grow large enough, a giant spark occurs in the cloud.
George Sr.: Ah, that-that's pretty cool. What causes the thunder?
Sheldon: It's a shock wave from particles heated to 10,000 degrees.
George Sr.: Interesting.
Sheldon: You want to know what's really interesting? Aristotle thought that the sound of thunder was due to a collision between two clouds. He believed the clouds were expelling air, in the way a log on a fire crackles-

Sheldon: Dad?
George Sr.: Yeah?
Sheldon: Would you like to have a conversation?
George Sr.: Yeah. Sure. Absolutely.
Sheldon: All right, what would you like to talk about?
George Sr.: Um, well, let's see. Uh, have you given much thought to what you want to be when you grow up?
Sheldon: I have.
George Sr.: Great. ... And what would that be?
Sheldon: Oh, most likely a scientist. Unless I stay in Texas, then I'm thinking cattle baron.
George Sr.: Cattle baron?
Sheldon: Assuming I don't have to touch the cows.
George Sr.: Goes without saying.

Sheldon: Did you always want to be a football coach?
George Sr.: Well, I always wanted to play. At least till I got hurt.
Sheldon: Mm. Were you a good player?
George Sr.: Eh, not really. I was just bigger than the other kids.
Sheldon: So you compensated for mediocrity by being large.
George Sr.: I guess.
Sheldon: That works for cattle as well.
George Sr.: Oh, well, thanks for pointing that out.
Sheldon: You're welcome.

George Jr.: Shotgun!
Mary: No, no. Let your brother sit up front for a change.
Sheldon: I actually prefer sitting in the back. It's safer.

George Sr.: Hey, pal. Playing with your rockets?
Sheldon: I'm trying to calculate ballistic coefficients.
George Sr.: Well, that's fun, too.

George Sr.: Listen, I don't have to work this weekend, I was wondering if you wanted to do something together.
Sheldon: Like what?
George Sr.: Whatever you want.
Sheldon: Well, the filter on my air purifier needs to be changed. How about a trip to Sears?

George Sr.: Yeah, I was thinking along the lines of something a little more active. Like last year, we went fishing-
Sheldon: Mom! Dad's trying to make me go fishing!
George Sr.: No, no, it's okay. We're not going fishing.
Sheldon: All right, good. But seriously, was fishing really that bad?
Sheldon: Mom! Dad's trying to convince me that fishing wasn't that bad!

[After Sheldon catches a fish]
Sheldon: Get it away, get it away!
George Sr.: Calm down, it's an itty-bitty thing.
Sheldon: No, I'm an itty-bitty thing!

[Sheldon, George Sr. and Georgie in a tent]
Sheldon: Moth! Moth!
George Sr.: Sheldon, it's just a butterfly.
Sheldon: How is that any better? Butterfly, butterfly!

Sheldon: I know Meemaw's brisket recipe.
George Sr.: What?
Meemaw: No, you don't.
Sheldon: Yes, I do. And in order to bring peace to this family, I'm prepared to make it public.
Meemaw: You're bluffing.
Sheldon: One tablespoon of cumin, one cup of brown sugar, two tablespoons of smoked paprika-
Meemaw: Okay, okay, stop.

Mary: How do you know the recipe, Shelly?
Sheldon: Meemaw told it to me on Valentine's Day, 1982. You were out with Dad seeing Cannonball Run at the dollar theater.

[after flashing back his parents being intimate]
George Sr.: Sheldon, want some?
Sheldon: Uh, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.