Mary: Flora, I have to ask about the living arrangements. That's our main concern.
Flora: Well, I think I can reassure you about that. My husband and I have been hosting a student for the last several years who recently graduated and is now at Princeton. So we have a guest room available in our home.
George Sr.: That's very generous of you. Does your husband work at the school also?
Flora: No, he's retired. He was an astrophysicist for NASA.
Sheldon: Please tell me you don't have a dog.
Flora: No, we're both allergic.
Sheldon: I'm tingling.

George Sr.: Sheldon, can you come in here for a minute?!
Sheldon: Yes?
George Sr.: Have a seat. We want to talk to you.
Sheldon: All right.
George Sr.: So, today we found out about a school in Dallas for really smart kids.
Sheldon: When can I start?
Mary: Hold on. Dallas is far away, so you'd have to live with another family.
Sheldon: Do they have a dog?
Mary: Uh, we don't know.
Sheldon: Well, can you make some calls?
Mary: I guess, but wouldn't you miss your mom and dad?
Sheldon: Oh. Yes, I suppose I will. So, when are you calling about the dog?

Sheldon: What's wrong with them?
Mary: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: They're so quiet. Are they on medication?
Mary: No, they're just smart like you.
Sheldon: I've been going to school in a zoo.

Flora: Sheldon, I've been looking over your transcripts and I must say, I am very impressed.
Sheldon: Thank you. What's your doctorate in?
Flora: Noncommutative Algebraic Topology.
Sheldon: I like her.

Flora: I must tell you, in all the years I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
Flora: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class. He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.

Ms. Ingram: And so the square of sine plus cosine equals one. Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't want to embarrass you, so I'm going to give you a moment to think about what you just said.

Sheldon: Ms. MacElroy.
Ms. MacElroy: What?
Sheldon: I'm wondering if you read the book you assigned to us, because I did.

Coach Wilkins: 20 laps. Cooper?
Sheldon: If you're going to ask us to run, don't you think you should lead by example?

Sheldon: So you'll have to find someone else to hold your ankles in P.E. today.
Tam: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I've suffered a terrible injury and won't be able to attend.
Tam: What happened?
Sheldon: See for yourself.
Tam: "Dear Coach Wilkins, please excuse my son, Sheldon, from P.E. He has experienced a testicular hernia, and needs to rest for the next six to eight weeks. Sincerely, Mary Cooper." Testicular hernia?
Sheldon: That's called details.

Sheldon: So what do you think?
Meemaw: I don't think you should let it bother you very much. I mean, there's always gonna be people in this world who are playing fast and loose with the rules. And your brother's one of them.
Sheldon: That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
Meemaw: Well, there you go, and he's, like, the main guy on that show.
Sheldon: No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
Meemaw: I stand corrected.

Sheldon: Although Kirk is usually the one who saves the Enterprise.
Meemaw: Because he doesn't always follow the rules?
Sheldon: He even cheated on a test when he was a cadet. The Kobayashi Maru.
Meemaw: The what?
Sheldon: Kobayashi Maru. Kirk is a legend because of it.

Sheldon: When you cheated on the math test, what was your strategy?
George Jr.: Well, I guess the most important part was not stepping on anything wet before the test. And not getting an "A."
Sheldon: Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
George Jr.: 'Cause that would raise suspicions. Who would believe I got an "A"?
Sheldon: Wow. Tell me more.

Sheldon: So, I guess I have to rethink my abilities. Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
Tam: Georgie didn't pass because of you.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Tam: He cheated. He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe.
Sheldon: He wouldn't do that. When you cheat in school, you only cheat yourself.
Tam: Where'd you get that?
Sheldon: An inspirational poster outside the boys' room.

Sheldon: You dirty bird.
George Jr.: What are you doing in here?
Sheldon: You cheated.
George Jr.: No, I didn't.
Sheldon: I'm holding the evidence.
George Jr.: Let me see that. [SPITS] I don't see nothin'.
Sheldon: That's obstruction of justice, as well as disgusting.

Sheldon: This isn't over.
George Jr.: Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
Sheldon: All right, maybe it's over.

Sheldon: Ms. Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yeah, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm done.
Ms. Ingram: What?
Sheldon: I enjoyed it very much. I'll take another if you have one.
Ms. Ingram: No, I don't have another one. J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Sheldon: So you collect all the terms linear in X. See? Simple.
George Jr.: Maybe for you.
Sheldon: No, it's simple for everybody. Now you collect all the terms linear in Y.
George Jr.: I don't get it.
Sheldon: Try this. Close your eyes.
George Jr.: 'Kay.
Sheldon: Can you see the slope of the line given by the coefficients of X and Y?
George Jr.: No.

George Jr.: Maybe the problem is you're not a good teacher.
Sheldon: Unlikely.

George Jr.: What do you see when you close your eyes?
Sheldon: I see quadrant one as red, quadrant two is soft and plush, quadrant three smells like lavender, and quadrant four is overlaid with a Fibonacci spiral.
George Jr.: That's really weird.
Sheldon: No. What's really weird is doing simple algebra and thinking about a girl in a bikini.
George Jr.: I disagree.

Sheldon: That's humorous, because Spock is half human and half Vulcan. But he's ashamed of his human side. That's why I identify with him.