Mary: I don't understand why you'd even be interested in a book like that.
Sheldon: One of the characters is a scientist who worked on the Manhattan Project.
Mary: Well, it's filled with violence and nudity, and you are done looking at it.
Sheldon: But comics are a form of art. You wouldn't forbid me from looking at Michelangelo's David just because he's nude.
Mary: When a statue of your naked blue fella is on display at the Vatican, we'll talk.
Sheldon: Actually, David is at the Accademia Gallery in Florence.
Mary: Doesn't matter. I don't want you looking at his bottom either.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Meemaw: Okay, here you go. I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
Sheldon: Did you check the gloves for spiders?
Meemaw: Is this my first day as Meemaw?

Adult Sheldon: My new adult responsibilities began that night. Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more than a set of instructions. And if there's one thing I shine at, it's following instructions.