Pastor Rob: So, how are you doing with all this?
Mary: Oh. Disappointed. Angry, upset, scared.
Pastor Rob: So all the emotions. Got it.
Mary: And I'm worried that if he doesn't marry this girl, the congregation's gonna turn on me.
Pastor Rob: They might. [exhales] But that's putting man before God.
Mary: What do you mean?
Pastor Rob: Well, you're caring more about what people think than what God thinks.
Mary: I'm not caring more. I just don't have to bump into God at the grocery store.
Pastor Rob: I don't think He does his own shopping.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Oh, I know that you're hurting, and... I'm here for you, so... what do you need?
Meemaw: Great, take me drinking.
Mary: It is 3:30 in the afternoon.
Meemaw: Yes, it's called happy hour.
Mary: I have to make dinner.
Meemaw: Oh, fine. I'll just be sad and drunk by myself. Maybe I'll go home with the bartender.
Mary: Missy! I have to go out with your meemaw, but I'll be back later with KFC.

Missy: [groans] Mom and Dad are still really upset.
Sheldon: With good reason. She's awfully old to be having a baby.
Missy: Is it really dangerous?
Sheldon: Not with modern science, but back in pioneer times, we'd be burying her down by the crick.
Missy: I'm just saying they're cranky enough, so don't be a pain in the ass.
Sheldon: I'm always on my best behavior. You're the hormonal firecracker around here.
Missy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: And thar she blows. Moby Dick. It's a book.

George: Where the hell's my travel mug?
Mary: I think Georgie took it, dear.
George: That son of a gun.
Mary: Missy, your father's gonna take you to school today.
Missy: Thanks, Daddy. I hope it's not too much trouble.
George: [smiles] No trouble at all, my little angel. [Mary smiles at Missy, too]
Sheldon: [to Missy] Why'd you say they're cranky? They're fine.

Meemaw: What's up?
Missy: Why won't Mom and Dad tell us what's going on?
Meemaw: Well, there might be several reasons for that, but right off the top of my head, I'd say none of your damn business.
Sheldon: Mom's having a baby, and that's none of our business?
Meemaw: [chuckles] Is that what you think's going on?
Missy: Isn't it?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Then what's going on?
Meemaw: None of your damn business.