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520 - Uncle Sheldon and a Hormonal Firecracker

Aired Thursday, April 28, 2022
Uncle Sheldon and a Hormonal Firecracker

After Sheldon and Missy learn about Georgie's pregnancy, the Coopers struggle to keep the secret.

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Episode Notes

  • Title Reference: "Uncle Sheldon" refers to Sheldon's reaction when he learns Georgie is going to be a father, and "a Hormonal Firecracker" refers to Sheldon's description of Missy.
  • Opening Credits Sequence: Sheldon is dressed in his normal clothes as a black cow with horns approaches the family.


Quote from Sheldon

Missy: [groans] Mom and Dad are still really upset.
Sheldon: With good reason. She's awfully old to be having a baby.
Missy: Is it really dangerous?
Sheldon: Not with modern science, but back in pioneer times, we'd be burying her down by the crick.
Missy: I'm just saying they're cranky enough, so don't be a pain in the ass.
Sheldon: I'm always on my best behavior. You're the hormonal firecracker around here.
Missy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: And thar she blows. Moby Dick. It's a book.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: Where the hell's my travel mug?
Mary: I think Georgie took it, dear.
George Sr.: That son of a gun.
Mary: Missy, your father's gonna take you to school today.
Missy: Thanks, Daddy. I hope it's not too much trouble.
George Sr.: [smiles] No trouble at all, my little angel. [Mary smiles at Missy, too]
Sheldon: [to Missy] Why'd you say they're cranky? They're fine.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: What's up?
Missy: Why won't Mom and Dad tell us what's going on?
Meemaw: Well, there might be several reasons for that, but right off the top of my head, I'd say none of your damn business.
Sheldon: Mom's having a baby, and that's none of our business?
Meemaw: [chuckles] Is that what you think's going on?
Missy: Isn't it?
Meemaw: No.
Sheldon: Then what's going on?
Meemaw: None of your damn business.

Quote from Pastor Jeff

Pastor Jeff: What's up?
Mary: I was hoping to get your take on something.
Pastor Jeff: Of course.
Mary: Um... This isn't really about me, but I recently met a young woman who got pregnant, um... out of wedlock.
Pastor Jeff: I see. Is the young man in the picture?
Mary: He is.
Pastor Jeff: Well, as long as they tie the knot before the bambino pops out, the big guy looks the other way.
Mary: Right, right. But the woman isn't so keen on... knots or tying them.
Pastor Jeff: Then I'm afraid she and that poor baby are in for a difficult time.

Quote from Pastor Jeff

Mary: I know. Um... What about the parents of the young couple?
Pastor Jeff: Well, they certainly didn't raise these kids with the right values. I only get them one day a week. The rest of it's on Mom and Dad.
Mary: [chuckles] Right. Right. Um... Oh. But, um... what if the boy's parents did want to do the right thing? I don't see how it's their fault.
Pastor Jeff: Well, didn't the boy still have premarital sex which led to pregnancy?
Mary: [exhales] Yes.
Pastor Jeff: You have to ask, where were his parents?
Mary: Mm-hmm. These are all good questions.

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Featured Music

  • Which Will
    Nick Drake

    Which Will Plays as Mary prepares for her Bible study class and comes to realise nobody is showing up.

Episode Trivia

  • What game show was Meemaw watching on TV?
    • Tic-Tac-Dough
    • Supermarket Sweep
    • Chain Reaction
    • Match Game
  • Which book did Sheldon reference while talking to Missy?
    • The Great Gatsby
    • Moby Dick
    • The Catcher in the Rye
    • The Grapes of Wrath

Episode Recap

As Mary and George get ready in their bedroom one morning, Mary asks George if he can take Missy to school. He points out that it’s on Mary’s way. She explains that she has to take the church newsletter to the printers. George scoffs, arguing that nobody reads it. Mary responds that, even though they’re not getting along right now, she doesn’t want Missy and Sheldon to see them fighting. George responds sarcastically, saying "Sure thing, dear.”

When Missy visits Sheldon's room, she tells him that their parents are still fighting. Sheldon thinks it's no surprise, considering that their mother is quite old to be having a baby. Missy wonders if it's dangerous, but Sheldon assures her that it's not with modern medicine. However, he adds that if they were living in pioneer times, "we'd be burying her down by the crick". Missy tells Sheldon that their parents are cranky enough, and they don't need him being a pain in the ass. Sheldon insists that he is always on his best behavior and remarks that Missy is the "hormonal firecracker around here". As Missy tries to interject, Sheldon adds, "And thar she blows!", before explaining to a confused Missy that it's from Moby Dick, a book.

In the kitchen, George is searching for his travel mug. Mary suggests that Georgie may have taken it. George tries to hide his frustration but remains cheerful. After Mary informs Missy that her father will be taking her to school today, Missy thanks him and says she hopes it's not too much trouble. George insists that it's no trouble at all, albeit with an uneasy expression. Mary also smiles at Missy, overly eager. Sheldon tells Missy that he can't understand why she said their parents are cranky, as they seem fine.

At the church, Mary gives herself a pep talk before approaching a door and preparing to knock. As she steels herself, Pastor Rob walks by and watches as Mary backs away from the door before going to knock again. As Mary once again fails to knock, Pastor Rob asks if everything is okay. A startled Mary says yes and wonders what he's doing there. Rob says he came to get a stapler but stayed for "the show" and asks what she's doing. Mary says she's just going to talk to Pastor Jeff. "Hmm", Rob says as he encourages her to go. “I’m doing it”, Mary says before she once again fails to knock. After Mary finally plucks up the courage to knock, she says "See?" to Rob. "Very convincing," he tells her.

In Pastor Jeff's office, Mary tells him she would like to talk about a young woman she recently met who got pregnant out of wedlock. Pastor Jeff asks if the father is involved, to which Mary confirms that he is. Pastor Jeff says that as long as the couple gets married before the bambino is born, "the big guy" will overlook the situation. However, Mary shares that the woman isn’t so keen on “knots or trying them”. Pastor Jeff is afraid she and the baby are in for a difficult time. Mary reluctantly agrees and asks about the parents of the young couple, but Jeff argues that they did not instil the right values in their children. He says he only sees the kids once a week, so the rest of the time it's up to the parents. Although Mary acknowledges his point, she wonders if it’s fair to blame the boy’s parents when they want to do the right thing. Pastor Jeff points out that the boy still engaged in premarital sex, which led to the pregnancy, and asks where the parents were. "Mm-hmm," Mary adds, "These are all good questions.”

As Meemaw watches a game show on daytime TV, there’s a knock at the door. After she opens the door to Sheldon and Missy, she asks curtly, "What?" Sheldon explains that they know what’s going on at home and they need to talk. Meemaw says she’s in the middle of something, but Missy says that they are too and walks right in. An uncomfortable Sheldon stands still and asks Meemaw for permission to come in. After she reluctantly relents, Sheldon walks in.

In Meemaw's living room, she asks her grandkids what's going on. Missy wants to know why their mom and dad won't tell them what's happening. Meemaw thinks there could be many reasons, but off the top of her head, she thinks it's none of their business. Sheldon is surprised to hear that their mom having a baby is none of their business. Meemaw chuckles and asks if that's what they think is happening. "Isn't it?" Missy asks. No. "Then what's happening?" Sheldon demands to know. "It's none of your business", Meemaw tells them.

Back at the Cooper household, Mary approaches George and tells him they need to talk. Although George is taking notes while playing back his team’s game, Mary insists it's important. She explains that she was discussing their "little situation" with Pastor Jeff, and George wonders why she would do that. Mary clarifies that Pastor Jeff doesn't know it's about Georgie, but she knows people will eventually find out and judge them. George questions why she cares about others' opinions, but Mary insists that she does because she lives and works in the town. Their conversation is interrupted by a phone call from Meemaw, who warns Mary that the twins were just over and asking questions. Mary checks that Meemaw didn't reveal the truth, and Meemaw confirms that she didn't. However, the twins know that a baby is involved and assumed that Mary was having it. Meemaw chuckles and informs Mary that the twins will be home soon, telling her to “have fun”.

When Sheldon and Missy find their parents in the den, Sheldon demands to know what's going on. Missy adds that they know someone's pregnant, but it's not Mary. So whose is it? Mary insists it's a private matter that does not concern them. As she looks to George, he gives her a nod of approval, prompting Missy to realize it’s Georgie. Mary argues that she doesn't know that, but Sheldon points out that the word on the street is that Georgie is sexually active. "Ew," Missy adds, before asking, "Who's preggers?" After Mary calls a family meeting right now, George says he'll leave them to it, but Mary chides him. "Fudge," he says.

Around the dinner table, Mary and George sit on one side, while Sheldon and Missy sit on the other. Mary announces that their brother is going to have a baby. Sheldon asks with whom, and Mary reveals the girl's name is Mandy. Missy notes that Mandy is older than Georgie and asks how much older. Mary says it's not important, so Missy assumes it's a significant age difference. George questions if he needs to be there, but Mary insists he does. George exclaims "Double fudge". When Sheldon asks if Georgie and Mandy will get married, but Mary says they don't know yet, but probably will. George tries to interrupt, but Mary insists it's better for everyone and the baby if they do. George argues it’s better for her church friends. After Mary tells the kids not to tell anyone, Sheldon worries he'll lose control of his mouth. Mary reminds Sheldon that he's good at keeping promises, so he should promise not to tell anyone. Sheldon starts to object, but Mary insists he won't tell anyone. Missy is surprised she’s becoming an aunt, and Sheldon jokes about being "Uncle Sheldon". George points out he and Mary are going to be grandparents. And Meemaw’s going to be a great-grandparent, Mary adds. After Missy says that makes her sound “so old”, George asks her to please tell Meemaw that.

At Meemaw's gambling room, as she closes up, she bids good night to Wade. He complains that it's not good as he lost all his money, but Meemaw says it's good for her. Georgie dials the phone and leaves a message for Mandy, asking how she's doing and telling her to call him back if she needs anything. After a sad Georgie hangs up, Meemaw asks if Mandy is avoiding his calls. "Seems like it," Georgie admits. Meemaw asks if he understands why Mandy might not want to talk to him. Georgie nods and insists he's trying to make it up to her. Meemaw warns him that this might be one of those things that he can't make up for, prompting Georgie to complain that it's not fair. Meemaw tells him that he better grow up quickly, "because 'fair' left the building the second you yanked your pants down." Georgie thanks his grandmother for making him feel worse, to which Meemaw replies, "Anytime.”

In Dr. Linkletter's lecture hall, he asks the class a question, but no hands go up as Sheldon is lost in thought. Dr. Linkletter poses the question directly to Sheldon, who gets close to the answer but doesn't quite get it. Sheldon apologizes and concedes he was distracted. Dr. Linkletter isn't overly concerned and tries to move on, but Sheldon continues to talk, saying he would usually have answered the question correctly. Dr. Linkletter has no doubt and again tries to move on, but Sheldon reveals there are things going on at home that he can't talk about. Dr. Linkletter says they don't want to hear about it. Sheldon assures everyone that nobody is sick, in case they were worried. When Dr. Linkletter asks the class if anyone is concerned, no hands go up. Moving on, Sheldon says that's why he got the answer wrong. Dr. Linkletter tells Sheldon it was just a mistake, and everyone makes them. In Sheldon's inner monologue, he thinks about how his brother Georgie got a girl pregnant. He tells himself repeatedly not to say it out loud. After Sheldon's hand shoots up, Dr. Linkletter asks him what's wrong. Sheldon says he needs to use the restroom. Dr. Linkletter reminds him that this is college and he can just go. After Sheldon rushes out, Dr. Linkletter asks another student to lock the door.

When Pastor Rob goes to Mary's office at the church while she works, he knocks on the door and says "knock knock," joking that he's showing her how to do it on the first try. After he asks if she's okay, Mary reluctantly says "yeah," before adding that life can be tough. Pastor Rob understands and offers to talk or grab a smoke if she ever needs it. Mary thanks him but declines, although she admits that a cigarette sounds tempting. To Rob's delight, she agrees to help him finish his carton. As they leave her office, Mary suggests that they quit smoking after this. "Absolutely," Rob agrees, calling it a disgusting and filthy habit.

When Coach Wilkins returns to the office he shares with George, he tells his friend that the boosters have been networking with potential replacements for George. George insists that he doesn't care anymore, although Dwayne wonders if that means he could have George's job then. Sensing that something is bothering George, Wilkins asks if he's okay. George says he is, but Wilkins wonders if this is the type of situation where he says he doesn't want to talk about it, but then he makes him go to the bar and talk about it anyway. "No," George insists. Cut to George and Coach Wilkins at a bar, where George reveals that Georgie is pregnant. Wilkins offers congratulations, but George wonders, "On having a dope son?" Wilkins points out that George and Mary were once in a similar situation, but George admits the woman is actually 11 years older than Georgie. "That's different," Coach Wilkins admits before ordering a few shots to the table.

As the students file out of Dr. Linkletter's lecture, Sheldon approaches his desk to apologize for his mistake earlier. Dr. Linkletter expresses regret that Sheldon got locked out, but claims that he doesn't know how it happened. Suddenly, Sheldon blurts out that his brother got a girl pregnant. He explains that his mom wanted him to promise not to tell, but since he never actually made that promise, he hasn't done anything wrong. Dr. Linkletter responds with a dismissive "I don't care". Sheldon thanks him but reminds him that it's a secret and asks him not to tell anyone else. Dr. Linkletter then asks if Sheldon has somewhere else to be. Sheldon responds that he does not.

As Mary and Pastor Rob smoke cigarettes in the parking lot, she asks if she can tell him something in confidence. He agrees. Mary admits that her son got a girl pregnant. "Whoa," says Pastor Rob, before asking if it was a surprise. "Oh, yeah," Mary chuckles. "And it's safe to assume it's not Sheldon?" Pastor Rob asks. Mary laughs and confirms that’s also true.

Back in the lecture hall, Sheldon tells Dr. Linkletter that his mom wants Georgie and his girlfriend to get married, but it doesn’t seem like she’s willing to. Linkletter wonders why Sheldon is still talking to him. “You and I just click," Sheldon explains.

At the church, Pastor Rob asks Mary how she's coping with everything. "Disappointed, angry, upset, scared," Mary replies. "So, all of the emotions," Pastor Rob acknowledges. Mary confesses that she's worried her congregation will turn against her if Georgie doesn't marry the girl. Pastor Rob acknowledges that they might, but reminds Mary that she should put God before man. Mary asks what he means, and Pastor Rob explains that she's more concerned about people's opinions than God's. While Mary disagrees, she also explains that she won't run into God at the grocery store. Pastor Rob offers to speak with the girl, mentioning that he's good at talking to young people. When Mary reveals that the girl is 29, Pastor Rob assures her that he's good at talking to people his own age as well.

As the Coopers gather around the dinner table, Mary says grace. After she finishes, Sheldon blurts out that he told Dr. Linkletter about Georgie. Georgie wonders why his parents told Sheldon, but Missy says she worked it out herself. Georgie asks if anyone else said anything, but Mary and George both shake their heads. Georgie says it's good, because Mandy's parents don't know, and if this gets out, Mandy will be even more upset with him. Missy admits she kind of told Heather M. at school, but told her to keep it a secret. "Did you keep it a secret?" Georgie asks. "No," Missy says. "Unbelievable." After George confesses to telling Wayne, Georgie says he can't believe them. Georgie says he's not hungry and storms out.

In his bedroom in the garage, Georgie is on the phone with Mandy. He tells her that if she hasn't told her parents yet, she might want to because her family has already blabbed and the news is out. Georgie acknowledges that he knows she's angry and that he's angry too. He asks her not to hang up, but she does. After he hears a knock, Georgie says to come in. Missy apologizes and says she's sorry for making things worse. Georgie tries to reassure her and admits that people are going to find out eventually. As Missy sits down next to Georgie on his bed, she asks him if he thinks they're going to get married. Georgie admits that it's not looking good. Missy asks him if he even wants to get married. Georgie says he does like Mandy, and he's trying to do the right thing, whatever that is. Missy can't believe that her brother is going to be a dad. "Join the club," Georgie tells her. Missy asks if it's weird. "More terrifying than weird," Georgie responds. He says he doesn't know what he's doing and worries that he'll mess up the kid. Missy assures her brother that he won't, but Georgie points out that he's a high-school dropout living in his parents' garage. Georgie's voice breaks as he says that Mandy is right to not want him around. Missy sobs as she tells her brother that Mandy would be lucky to have him, and so will the baby. Georgie tells her not to make him cry more. Missy jokes that that will be the last nice thing she says to him.

Back in the kitchen, Mary asks George what Wayne said when he heard the news. George replies that Wayne loves babies, so his reaction was something like "It's a blessing. Blah. Blah. Blah." George wonders why he's friends with Wayne and suggests that Mary should be his friend instead. George then wonders what Pastor Jeff said, but Mary reveals that she actually told Pastor Rob. "Of course," George says bitterly. Mary asks him what he means, and George says it it seems she talks to Pastor Rob a lot. Mary points out that she works with him, just like how George talks to his co-worker Wayne. George tries to move on and asks what Pastor Rob said. Mary says that he was actually helpful and told her she shouldn't care what the congregation thinks and that she was putting people before God. George sarcastically says he'll stick God in there next time so she'll pay attention.

Mary carries out a pitcher of juice into the living room, arranges the chairs, lays out floral arrangements and places a bible on the table. She then sits and waits. After a while, Mary goes to the kitchen to phone Joan and asks her if she knew Bible study was today. “Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that.“, Mary says and hangs up. Mary checks her phone book and dials another number. Mary asks Susan if everything's okay since she’s not at bible study. “Oh.”, Mary responds before making another call. “Of course. No problem. I understand.“, Mary tells someone. Finally, Mary phones another number. “Hey. It's Mary. Do you have time to talk?” “For you, always.”, Pastor Rob tells her.

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