Mary: Well, um, we have a lot to discuss. Reception, flowers, cake...
Pastor Jeff: Like I said, we're just looking for something simple.
Mary: Got it. Nothing fancy. Just elegant.
Pastor Jeff: Right, but a plain, bare-bones elegance.
Mary: How many guests were you thinking?
Pastor Jeff: It doesn't have to be big. I've been married before.
Mary: But Robin hasn't. And you're our pastor. Your congregation is gonna want to share in your special day.
Pastor Jeff: Those bones are sounding less bare.
Mary: Sorry. Your small, elegant, bare-bones, unforgettable, simple, special day. Now, let's talk centerpieces.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Adult Sheldon: None of my friends had recorded the episode. I called Tam. I called Dr. Sturgis. Those were all my friends.

Adult Sheldon: Fortunately, having a modem granted me access to an even better kind of friend: the kind you don't have to see or talk to.

Adult Sheldon: Many inventions changed people's lives for the better: the light bulb, the polio vaccine, and one that doesn't get enough credit, the home video cassette recorder. It didn't help keep people out of wheelchairs, but it did keep me from missing Star Trek.