Mary: I'm thankful to be surrounded by my loving family.
Missy: What about that guy?
Mary: That guy- Dr. Sturgis Is part of our extended family.
Dr. John Sturgis: Mm, thank you.
Mary: And I'm also thankful for this warm and comfy home that God has blessed us with and this great neighborhood with my mom living right across the street, and of course our excellent school system that provides our children with a world-class education.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Pastor Jeff: And now George's loving wife Mary would like to say a few words. Mary.
Mary: Thank you, Pastor Jeff. Um... [clears throat] I met George in high school. Well, I was in high school. He was an older man with a motorcycle. [light laughter] I'd like to tell you he caught my eye, but actually it was the motorcycle. [laughter] [voice breaking] I'm sorry, I can't... do this. I am... so angry. [sighs] George and I had our ups and downs, but we were finally in such a good place, and then he... left. [crying] He left all of us. I- How could you do that? [Meemaw stands up] I am so mad at him. I'm mad at God, I'm mad at myself for not trying harder while he was here. [Meemaw goes up to Mary] This wasn't supposed to happen. [Mary sobs] [Meemaw hugs Mary] [Georgie hugs a crying Missy]

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Tam: Spending the Thanksgiving weekend working in my family's convenience store, I observed my father and mother working from 6:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night. My hypothesis was that economic advancement for immigrant families is more important than celebrating a holiday where people eat until they pass out in front of the TV.
Mr. Givens: All right, Tam. Well, based on your observations and hypothesis, were you able to make a prediction?
Tam: Yes. At some point, my father would die prematurely from stress. And my mother will come live with me, where she will constantly disapprove of my hot, blonde, American wife.
Mr. Givens: Okay. Uh, I think we all learned something there. Uh, thank you, Tam.

Adult Sheldon: In tenth grade, high school students are presented with picking a class of their own choosing. This is called an elective. Courses on offer included wood shop, I'm happy with ten fingers, thank you; introduction to agriculture, I think you know the answer to that; wrestling, I'd rather milk that cow. All of which led me to the elective I reluctantly chose, Psychology 101, an investigation into why people think and feel the way they do.

George: Hey, Georgie, you have any sentimental attachment to this town?
Georgie: I don't know, why?
George: I'm just curious if, you know, we ever did pick up and live somewhere else, how you'd feel about it.
Georgie: Well, if it was Hawaii, I'd feel pretty great. That's where they make Magnum, P.I.
George: I don't think Hawaii's in the cards.
Georgie: How about Miami?
George: Let me guess, 'cause of Miami Vice?
Georgie: Golden Girls.
George: Course.
Sheldon: Car.
Georgie: I saw this one where Blanche dates this little guy who breaks up with her 'cause she's not Jewish. So good.
George: Forget about Miami and Hawaii and Blanche.