George Sr.: Hey, listen, something came up today that we need to talk about.
Mary: What's that?
George Sr.: I maybe have a shot at a better job.
Mary: Oh, George, they're finally gonna make you head coach?
George Sr.: Better than that. Special Teams Coach, University of Tulsa.
Mary: In Oklahoma?
George Sr.: That is where they're keeping Tulsa these days.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Adult Sheldon: In tenth grade, high school students are presented with picking a class of their own choosing. This is called an elective. Courses on offer included wood shop, I'm happy with ten fingers, thank you; introduction to agriculture, I think you know the answer to that; wrestling, I'd rather milk that cow. All of which led me to the elective I reluctantly chose, Psychology 101, an investigation into why people think and feel the way they do.

Tam: Spending the Thanksgiving weekend working in my family's convenience store, I observed my father and mother working from 6:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night. My hypothesis was that economic advancement for immigrant families is more important than celebrating a holiday where people eat until they pass out in front of the TV.
Mr. Givens: All right, Tam. Well, based on your observations and hypothesis, were you able to make a prediction?
Tam: Yes. At some point, my father would die prematurely from stress. And my mother will come live with me, where she will constantly disapprove of my hot, blonde, American wife.
Mr. Givens: Okay. Uh, I think we all learned something there. Uh, thank you, Tam.

George Sr.: Hey, Georgie, you have any sentimental attachment to this town?
George Jr.: I don't know, why?
George Sr.: I'm just curious if, you know, we ever did pick up and live somewhere else, how you'd feel about it.
George Jr.: Well, if it was Hawaii, I'd feel pretty great. That's where they make Magnum, P.I.
George Sr.: I don't think Hawaii's in the cards.
George Jr.: How about Miami?
George Sr.: Let me guess, 'cause of Miami Vice?
George Jr.: Golden Girls.
George Sr.: Course.
Sheldon: Car.
George Jr.: I saw this one where Blanche dates this little guy who breaks up with her 'cause she's not Jewish. So good.
George Sr.: Forget about Miami and Hawaii and Blanche.