[Sheldon humming]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: The sound from the refrigerator. It's right between D and D-sharp. Ugh! It's making my skin crawl.
Missy: What if I hold a pillow over your face for, like, a really long time?
Sheldon: No, that's dangerous. Do you know if we have earplugs?
Missy: If we did, I'd be wearing them. Go to sleep.

Missy: Put your fingers in your ears.
Sheldon: And risk driving wax back into my inner ear canal? No, thank you.
[Sheldon resumes humming]
Missy: Oh. [Missy puts her fingers in her ears]

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm going to take apart the refrigerator and figure out what's making that noise.
Missy: That is a really good idea.
Sheldon: Usually you're not supportive of my efforts.
Missy: I'm more mature now.

Sheldon: Hi, Mom.
Mary: What did you do?!
Sheldon: Good news. I found out what part was making that noise.
Mary: You have to put this back together!
Missy: Now we're getting to the bad news.
Mary: What made you think you could fix this?
Sheldon: I'm smart and I had a book.
Mary: Do you still think you're smart?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: I told him not to do it. He wouldn't listen.

Missy: You know if you cry, I can't enjoy your pain.
[As Sheldon cries, Missy goes over to hug him]

Missy: Mom, since Sheldon cost you all that money, who's your new favorite Me or Georgie?
Mary: You know I don't have favorites.
George Jr.: Yeah, right.
Mary: Okay, whoever takes the trash out first is my favorite.
Missy: She thinks we're stupid.

Mary: You're gonna teach your brother how to do this.
George Jr.: What if I don't want to?
Missy: You're doing it anyway.
Mary: Hey, nobody asked your opinion.
Missy: I knew the answer. I got excited.

Missy: Sheldon?
Sheldon: What?
Missy: You suck.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but I have a job to do.
Missy: How much longer till you pay Dad back?
Sheldon: At this rate, six months.
Missy: You suck.

George Sr.: What's your hurry?
Sheldon: I need to get back to my viewing post.
Mary: Fine, go ahead.
George Jr.: What's he expect to see, staring at Meemaw's house?
Missy: Did you just join this family? The kid's an oddball.

George Jr.: I can't believe they're making me sit and eat at the kiddie table.
Missy: It's better here.
George Jr.: How?
Missy: We don't have to pray, eat our vegetables, and we can curse.
George Jr.: Hmm. Maybe you're right.
Missy: Course I am, you ass-face.

George Sr.: I was just thinking that, uh, you and me, you know, we don't spend much time together. You know, we should find something to do, just-just two of us.
Missy: Like what?
George Sr.: You tell me. What-what sounds fun?
Missy: I'd like to be taken to dinner.
George Sr.: Great. Where?
Missy: To the fanciest restaurant in all of Texas.
George Sr.: Which is?
Missy: Red Lobster, where the surf meets the turf.
George Sr.: You got it.
Missy: Thanks, Dad. Mom, you got to take me shopping! I need a dress!

George Sr.: You're going to dinner wearing that?
Mary: I think you mean she looks beautiful.
George Sr.: You look beautiful.
Missy: Why thank you, George.
George Sr.: How 'bout we stick with "Dad" tonight?
Missy: Okay, but you call me Melissa.
George Sr.: After you, Melissa.
Missy: Thanks, George.

Missy: And then Heather B said she didn't want to play tetherball with Heather M anymore.
George Sr.: Wait. Th-There's two Heathers?
Missy: Oh, yeah.
George Sr.: Which one's which?
Missy: Heather B is stuck up. Heather M used to be stuck up, but then she got a scoliosis brace.
George Sr.: Maybe she shouldn't be playing tetherball.
Missy: That's what Heather B said.

George Sr.: The trick is not to make eye contact.
Missy: Tell him.

Missy: When I grow up, I'm gonna eat lobster every night.
George Sr.: Well, hon, you better stay in school and get a good education.
Missy: I was thinking I'd just marry a rich guy.
George Sr.: Sure, that's a way to go.
Missy: Or a guy who works at Red Lobster.
George Sr.: That's another way to go.

Sheldon: This is very promising.
Missy: What's happening?
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis's bike is still at Meemaw's.
Missy: So?
Sheldon: That means he probably is, too.
Missy: You need to get a life.

Mary: Lunch is ready. Can you go get your brother?
Missy: I'm watching TV.
Mary: Just go.
Missy: [sighs] I have to do smurfing everything around here.
Mary: I heard that.
Missy: I said "smurfing".
Mary: And I heard how you said it.

Missy: Whose dog is this?
Sheldon: I don't know. Get help.
Missy: Well, how did he get into the garage?
Sheldon: Please get help.
Missy: Maybe we can keep it.
Sheldon: I'm begging you, get help now.
Missy: First, I have to tell you something.
Sheldon: What?
Missy: Lunch is ready. [walks away]

Missy: I want to be just like you when I grow up.
Mary: No, you don't.
George Sr.: Pick again.

Pastor Jeff: Now, it says here in Mark 12:31 that you should "Love your neighbor as yourself.
" Anybody like to take a guess what that means? Missy?
Missy: It means to be nice to the people who live next door.
Pastor Jeff: That's right.
Missy: But everybody else can go to hell.