George Jr.: What kind of homework is it?
Missy: Grammar.
George Jr.: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

Missy: There's a list of sentences, and you're supposed to say if each one's a complete sentence or not.
George Jr.: The first one is, "Most people in the country" That doesn't sound like a sentence.
Missy: But ask me who drives pickup trucks.
George Jr.: Who drives pickup trucks?
Missy: Most people in the country.
George Jr.: Well, now it does sound like one.

Missy: Do you think we're stupid?
George Jr.: Sheldon's in college right now, and we can't figure out your homework. What do you think?
Missy: Sometimes I tell myself I only look stupid because he's so smart.

George Jr.: Okay, this says "a complete sentence always contains a verb."
Missy: Which one's a verb?
George Jr.: "A verb is a word that describes an action." I play checkers. You eat spaghetti.
Missy: We suck at homework. The action is sucking.

Missy: Did you cry when you saw it?
George Jr.: No.
Missy: Why not?
George Jr.: 'Cause it ain't that big a deal.
Missy: Okay. Did you hang it on your wall?
George Jr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling people you cried.

Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh. Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. [Mary takes the magazine] Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.

Mary: Where'd you get this?
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.

Mary: I'll be back.
Missy: Where you going?
Mary: To give the owner of that comic book store a piece of my mind!
Missy: Cool.
Mary: And then I'm calling Heather's mom!
Missy: Aw.

Meemaw: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
George Jr.: I think I'm okay.
Missy: Your air vent? [Georgie rushes back to his room]

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dum-b?

Meemaw: Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
Mary: No. Let him handle this on his own.
Missy: I wouldn't mind watching.

Missy: Maybe you're turning it the wrong way.
Sheldon: [straining to twist open a jam jar] Don't you have anything better to do?
Missy: Not better than this.
Sheldon: This is nothing a little science can't fix. All I need to do is break the pressure seal.
Missy: I don't think that was enough science.

Mary: So, how was everyone's day?
Missy: I cut open a frog at school.
Mary: For science class?
Missy: Sure.
George Sr.: We should put a lock on the knife drawer.

Mary: What's all this?
Sheldon: An extra layer of protection.
Meemaw: Protection from what?
Mary: Sweetie, is someone bothering you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mary: Who is it?
Sheldon: I'd rather not talk about it.
Mary: No, I want a name right now.
George Sr.: Mary.
Mary: Have you been hurting him?
Missy: Only with my words.

George Sr.: You go with him.
Missy: But my cereal's gonna get soggy.
George Sr.: Go.
Missy: [sighs] I'd like one nice morning.

Sheldon: Missy, I could really use your help.
Missy: With what?
Sheldon: I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks.
Missy: Hilarious. Go on.

Meemaw: I can't believe you sent him to bed without his dinner.
Mary: That's right.
Missy: On spaghetti and hot dog night. That's rough.

Mary: Let's talk about something else. Georgie, how was your day?
George Jr.: My brother told the entire school we can't afford cable.
Mary: Oh, right. Missy?
Missy: Good, until I learned we can't afford cable.

Sheldon: I've been thinking, and there's something I'd like to say.
George Sr.: Unless it's an apology, I don't want to hear it.
Sheldon: I'm quitting science.
Missy: Not an apology. Spank him, Dad.