Adult Sheldon: I had suffered some setbacks. But just as Edison had forged ahead on electric lighting without the help of Tesla, I was going to make it through orientation without the help of my mommy, even if she did make boo-boos stop hurting. While I had found inspiration courtesy of Thomas Edison, it was soon replaced with anger at Whitcomb L. Judson, inventor of the zipper.
Sheldon: [scoffs] Oh, come on.

Adult Sheldon: Like Batman's utility belt, my briefcase was equipped for any emergency. I don't know if the Bat-pants had a zipper, but if they did, I could fix it.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Clarissa: You have kids?
Mary: Three.
Clarissa: You look amazing!
Mary: Oh...
Sam: Two of 'em are twins.
Mary: I don't want to brag, but natural birth.
Jason: Whoa.
Mary: I love college. [laughs]

Mary: Missy, don't forget that you have to pick out a present for that birthday next week.
Missy: Mom, it's "Melissa" now.
Mary: [to Brenda] Middle school.

Missy: I feel like this cover really says who I am now.
Sheldon: That looks like all your notebooks.
Missy: Missy got ponies. Melissa gets horses.

Missy: Will this make me look older?
Meemaw: Definitely.
Missy: But not like you older, right?
Meemaw: Right.

Pastor Jeff: Thanks again. Robin is gonna be thrilled with this.
George: Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mary. She's the one who said I had to do it.
Pastor Jeff: Just out of curiosity, did she also mention helping me build the crib at some point?
George: No.
Pastor Jeff: Well, act surprised when she does.

Mary: [on the phone] Hold on. You're not gonna be around when Sheldon starts college?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's a great question. No.
Mary: John, I agreed to let him go because you were gonna be there to look after him.
Dr. John Sturgis: I know. And I feel terrible about it, but... please understand, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I couldn't turn it down.
Mary: Orientation starts next week.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm aware.
Mary: [sighs] Well, I hope that you're ready to hear him freak out when you tell him.
Dr. John Sturgis: I was kind of hoping he'd just be excited I get to work on the supercollider.
Mary: Right, because being happy for other people is where he shines.
[cut to:]
Sheldon: [on the phone with John] A supercollider? Well, you can't say no to that.
Mary: I give up.

Mary: Did you know Dr. Sturgis was taking a new job?
Meemaw: What job?
Mary: He went to work on some supercollider in Waxahachie.
Meemaw: What do you mean "went"?
Mary: He's already there.
Meemaw: When did you hear this?
Mary: He just called. I was counting on him to be there for Sheldon.
Meemaw: Well, you'd think he would've mentioned it to me.
Mary: Sheldon says it's okay with him, but I would certainly feel a lot better if there were adults there that I trusted.
Meemaw: Nothing on the answering machine.
Mary: He's just a little boy, and he's gonna be on that big campus all by himself.
Meemaw: I mean, I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought we were still friends.
Mary: Excuse me. I think you're focusing on the wrong part of the story here.
Meemaw: He's little, you're worried. Please continue.
Mary: That sums it up.

Mary: My son, the college freshman. I can't believe it.
Sheldon: How can you not believe it? You had to sign my vaccination form.
Mary: Right. So, what do you want to do first? I was thinking we could start at the bookstore, try and beat the lines.
Sheldon: I agree about the lines, but what do you mean "we"?
Mary: I mean you and me.
Sheldon: This is my first day. I can't be seen walking around campus with my mommy.
Mary: Well, it's only orientation.
Sheldon: Yes, and I'm quite capable of handling everything that I need to get done today on my own.
Mary: I'm sure you are. I just figured, with Dr. Sturgis not around, it might be nice if I could be.
Sheldon: No one else's mother is going to be.
Mary: You don't know that.
Sheldon: Well, I know mine isn't.
Mary: [sighs] You might want to watch the attitude to the person who's driving you there.
Sheldon: Not all the way there. Drop me off a block away so no one sees us together.
Mary: Sorry, I am not leaving you alone your first day.
Sheldon: Yes, you are.
Mary: For someone going into college, you are acting very childish.
Sheldon: Maybe it just appears that way because you see me with my mommy.

Sheldon: Can you show me where the used physics textbooks are?
Jason: Follow me.
Sheldon: Normally I would prefer a fresh new textbook, but my father is a high school football coach. Which is another way of saying we're poor.
Jason: Here you go.
Sheldon: [opens book] Who owned this, a werewolf?

Woman: [on radio] Let's talk about the weather. It's going to be a beautiful sunny day today with temps reaching a high of 97.
Meemaw: Gross.
Woman: [on radio] In other news, President Bush will be traveling to Waxahachie later this month to visit the site of a new supercollider. Scientists are hopeful this will lead to exciting discoveries in the world of part... [Meemaw turns radio off]

Meemaw: What?
Missy: You said you'd show me how to hot-roll my hair.
Meemaw: Oh, right. You still want to do that?
Missy: You're cranky.
Meemaw: So maybe I shouldn't be putting hot rollers on your head.
Missy: Meh, you're always cranky. Let's do this.

Sheldon: Not so bad. [turns page] I would have highlighted that. [turns page] And someone drew genitals.

Sheldon: [sighs] If you highlight everything, you highlight nothing. [checks watch] Uh-oh. [to Jason] Young man, don't move these books. I have a system.