Sheldon: Guess what. Dr. Sturgis, Dr. Linkletter and I are starting an Isaac Asimov book club.
Meemaw: That's nice.
Sheldon: I'm glad you think so because you should join.
Meemaw: And I think... no.
Sheldon: But this is perfect for you.
Meemaw: Why?
Sheldon: Because three smart people will be there to explain things that go over your head.
Meemaw: I'm gonna bonk you over your head in a minute.

Sheldon: What if it's just a short story? Would you read it then?
Meemaw: Why do you care if I read this?
Sheldon: Let's see. Perhaps it has something to do with Pop Pop dying before we ever got to discuss the books he gave me.
Meemaw: How short a story?
Sheldon: Nightfall's only 30 pages.
Meemaw: Fine.
Sheldon: Excellent. Why did you change your mind?
Meemaw: Because you made me feel bad about my dead husband.
Sheldon: Neat.

Adult Sheldon: I was envious of my meemaw. That night, she would get to experience one of my favorite stories for the very first time.
Meemaw: [v.o.] "If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations, the remembrance of the city of God?" [outloud] What?!

Sheldon: All right, I would like to call the first meeting of the Isaac Asimov book club to order. I'm assuming everyone's read Nightfall?
[Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis both hold up their copies of the book]
Meemaw: I read it. [chuckles] I may have dozed off a few times, but I read it.

Dr. John Sturgis: I read it as well. I found it quite compelling. A planet that only experiences nightfall once every 2,000 years.
Dr. Linkletter: And once it does, it drives everyone mad. Brilliant.
Sheldon: I found the tension between the scientists and the religious cultists reminiscent of some dinnertime conversations at my house. [laughter]
Dr. John Sturgis: What did you think, Connie?
Meemaw: Eh...
Sheldon: You didn't like it?
Meemaw: I don't need a story set on some outer space planet to tell me that people freak out about change.
Dr. Linkletter: Interesting.
Meemaw: People lost it when women started wearing pants and getting jobs. Everybody just overreacts to everything.

Dr. John Sturgis: "It was very horrible to go mad and know that you were going mad. To know that in a little minute, you would be here physically, and yet all the real essence would be dead and drowned in the black madness."
Sheldon: Bravo. [claps] Now I would like to read one of my favorite passages from the book.
Meemaw: I feel like I am all Asimov'd out. Let's hit the road.
Sheldon: Very well. We can kick off the next meeting with it.
Dr. Linkletter: Perhaps I can bake some cookies. I'm handy in the kitchen, you know.
Dr. John Sturgis: [exhales sharply] I've had them, and they're dry.

Sheldon: I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.
Meemaw: Not exactly.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: Why? After Frick and Frack found out I was single, they got all weird.
Sheldon: What do you mean? All they did was discuss Asimov.
Meemaw: Sure. Maybe I misread the situation.

Dr. Linkletter: Rule number one, no badmouthing each other to gain favor with Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: Agreed. And whatever happens, we can't let it affect our working relationship.
Dr. Linkletter: Our working relationship is already antagonistic.
Dr. John Sturgis: True. What's next?
Dr. Linkletter: No using Sheldon to win points with Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: But he likes me better than you.
Dr. Linkletter: That's why I brought it up.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fine.
Dr. Linkletter: Fine.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fine.
Dr. Linkletter: Fine!

Dr. John Sturgis: Ooh, perhaps the cold dark matter we're looking for is not the axion but the majoron.
Sheldon: Uh-huh.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's it? I just laid down some big boy science.
Sheldon: Sorry. We lost a great man today, and no one seems to care.
Dr. Linkletter: Asimov?
Sheldon: Yes, Asimov.
Dr. Linkletter: I told three people the news, and you know what they said?
Sheldon: "Who's that?"
Dr. Linkletter: Exactly. What's wrong with the world? The man's a legend.
Sheldon: I didn't know you were a fan.
Dr. Linkletter: Ever since I read The Naked Sun. I'll admit, I came for the naked, but I stayed for the interplanetary conspiracies.

Georgie: Are you sure?
Mandy: [picks up pregnancy test] I'm sure.
Georgie: Sometimes these things ain't accurate. Maybe take another one.
Mandy: [picks up another test] Here you go.
Georgie: Two is convincing, but-but three...
Mandy: I'm pregnant, Georgie!
Georgie: [sighs] What happens now?
Mandy: I don't know. I've never been knocked up by a 17-year-old before.
Georgie: Well, if it helps, I turn 18 in March.

Missy: Do you think Pastor Jeff will let me babysit for him?
Mary: I don't know. Their baby isn't even a year old yet.
Missy: Heather M. got ten bucks, and all she did was watch MTV while her cousin slept. [scoffs] What a scam.
Mary: It's not always that easy.
Missy: They lay there like a lump. How hard can it be? [Mary sighs] Will you please just ask Pastor Jeff?
Mary: I... I don't think you're gonna like it.
Missy: You don't think I'm responsible enough.
Mary: All I said was I don't think you're gonna like it.
Missy: I don't like homework, but I do it.
Mary: I have seen your homework. Is that how you're gonna take care of a baby?
Missy: Math is harder than babies.

Georgie: It's Georgie.
Mandy: [opens door] What?
Georgie: I know I was a little freaked out the last time I was here.
Mandy: You should be.
Georgie: But I had some time to think, and there's something I need to ask you.
Mandy: Yeah?
Georgie: Are you sure that baby's mine?
[cut to Georgie in Dale's office again:]
Georgie: She did not like that question at all.

Dale: So the baby's yours?
Georgie: What am I gonna do?
Dale: Is there any chance she might decide not to have it? Put it up for adoption?
Georgie: Not happening. She's keeping it.
Dale: Well, I hope you enjoyed being young and carefree, because that ship has sailed.
Georgie: Not helpful.
Dale: No.

George: I saw Georgie stopped by earlier.
Dale: Well, yeah, he does that once in a while.
George: Yeah. Didn't realize y'all were so close.
Dale: Oh, uh, I wouldn't say close. He might. I wouldn't.
George: So, uh, what'd he come by for?
Dale: Just to chat.
George: Really?
Dale: Mm.
George: Well, I guess it's good he's comfortable talking to someone.
Dale: Uh-huh.
George: Instead of his own father.
Dale: Uh, I... I'm sure he'll talk to you.
George: Thanks. [walks off]
Dale: [to himself] And you're not gonna like it.

Missy: Mom, can I ask you a Bible question?
Mary: Always.
Missy: Lying's a sin, right?
Mary: Sure is. Proverbs 12:22. "The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy."
Missy: Does it say anything specifically about lying to your pastor?
Mary: Did you lie to Pastor Jeff?
Missy: No, but you did.
Mary: I did not.
Missy: You told him I wasn't interested in babysitting.
Mary: No. I said I didn't think you were interested, which, technically, was not a lie.