Meemaw: [to Mary] Sorry. No. [to Sheldon] And what do you want?
Sheldon: For you to go on a bus with me to a comic book convention in Texarkana.
Meemaw: [laughing] God, no.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Ms. Hutchins: I don't know.
Mary: Trust me, the men are gonna be lining up.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, they haven't been so far, and I've been basically giving it away.
Mary: That's your business really.

Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

Nathan: Hey, you made it. [Star Trek salute]
Sheldon: It would have been illogical not to.
Nathan: [deep voice] Well, you're going to have a blast.
Sheldon: I know this is un-Spock-like, but I can't stop smiling.
Mr. Givens: [climbs aboard] [British accent] There you are, dear sir. Let's get this pusillanimous bucket of nuts and bolts on the road. [applause and cheering] We have a comic-con to get to!
Sheldon: Mr. Givens?
Mr. Givens: Oh, the pain.