[fantasy:]
Jana: Stop having fun, and help me take care of these babies.
Georgie: But I just got home from my day job. And I only have ten minutes till my night job.
Jana: That's ten minutes you could be helping. Now go change whichever this one is.

[fantasy:]
Mary: Georgie, there's a band called Guns N' Roses on the phone.
Georgie: Really?
Mary: Yeah. The guitarist hurt his hand, and they want you to fill in.
Georgie: [sighs] Tell them I can't. I'm a dad now.
Mary: Okay.

Sheldon: You enter a dark and musty crypt. Torches along the walls fill the room with a flickering light. In the center of the room is a mysterious glowing chest. What do you do?
Missy: I open the chest.
Meemaw: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[fantasy:]
Meemaw: It's a chest in the middle of a crypt. That's a little suspicious, don't you think?
Missy: I don't know. I'm not even sure what a crypt is.
Meemaw: Aah! It could be booby-trapped.
Sheldon: [v.o.] Thieves have the ability to check for traps.
Meemaw: Good for me, I can do that.
Dale: Hold it. This chest does not belong to us.
Meemaw: So?
Dale: I'm a paladin. It's not a very... paladin-y thing to do.
Meemaw: You didn't want to steal the key, you didn't want to fight the goblins. You wouldn't even kill the spider. You put it in a cup and took it outside.
[reality:]
Dale: Well, that wasn't in the game.
Meemaw: I know. It was in real life, which is worse.

Georgie: So, what do you want to do?
Jana: Probably something with our clothes on.
Georgie: No kidding. That was scary.
Jana: Terrifying.
Georgie: I was afraid I was gonna have to marry you.
Jana: Afraid?
Georgie: Shaking in my boots.
Jana: And what, exactly, would be so terrible about marrying me?
Georgie: I didn't say terrible. You can be afraid of things that are great.
Jana: Like what?
Georgie: Uh... Oh, roller coasters.
Jana: You're an idiot.
Georgie: Roller coasters is a good answer. I didn't say sharks, which is what I thought of first.
Jana: You're making it worse.
Georgie: How is I worse? I didn't say it. Roller coasters is a good answer.

Meemaw: Okay, fine. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm not interested in getting married again.
Dale: Why not?
Meemaw: I don't have to explain myself to you.
Missy: I'd like to know.
Sheldon: And I'd like to play D&D.
Meemaw: We've been through this. I like my life just the way it is, and if you can't work with that, then, well...
Dale: Well what?
Meemaw: Tough knuckles.
Missy: Whoa.

Dale: Could me and your meemaw have a little privacy, please?
Missy: We can leave, but we're still gonna listen.
Sheldon: [rolls dice] Also, you find no traps.
Dale: What is your problem?
Meemaw: You act like Mr. Goody Two-shoes, and you expect me to believe that's real?
Dale: Yeah.
Meemaw: Well, I don't.
Dale: Sheldon said there were no traps. [scoffs]

Dale: [sighs] I asked you to marry me and you turned me down flat.
Meemaw: Are you still mad about that?
Dale: Oh, hell yeah I'm still mad about that.
Missy: He proposed?
Sheldon: He just said he did. Pay attention.
Dale: And you didn't even take it seriously.
Meemaw: I didn't take it seriously because you were drunk.
Dale: That's when I'm the most honest. You can ask anybody at the bar.

Dale: Well, that's good, then. I don't have to pretend to be mister water-drinking nice guy anymore.
Meemaw: That's what I've been trying to tell you.
Dale: [smiles] Yeah, well. Will you all excuse me?
Meemaw: Where you going?
Dale: I'm gonna get myself a beer. [chuckles]
Sheldon: [to Meemaw and Missy] So you're standing in a crypt looking at a locked chest. What do you do?
Dale: [o.s.] Pull a beer out of it.

Dale: So, how does this work?
Sheldon: You start by creating your character.
Missy: I want to be a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Meemaw: Put me down for that, too.
Sheldon: You have to choose from one of the character classes. There's thief, druid, paladin, wizard...
Missy: Ooh, wizard. I want that.
Sheldon: All right.
Missy: Then I'll use my magic to turn me into a Ninja Turtle Princess of Power.
Sheldon: No.

Meemaw: Missy, help me out here.
Missy: Communication is important. I learned that on the Fresh Prince show.

Coach Wilkins: Hey, Mary.
Mary: Wayne, come on in.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you.
Mary: George just ran to pick up some beers.
Coach Wilkins: It's funny when he runs, ain't it?

Coach Wilkins: Oh, hey, Darlene wanted to know if you were gonna pack anything nice to wear.
Mary: For what?
Coach Wilkins: The coaches conference.
Mary: I wasn't going to that. Darlene's going?
Coach Wilkins: A free weekend in San Antonio? [chuckles] Hotel on the river? Of course she's going.
Mary: Oh.
Coach Wilkins: Did George not invite you?
Mary: No, he didn't.
Coach Wilkins: Honestly, what is wrong with that man?
George: Game time! [both look at George]
George: What?
Sheldon: Mom's just mad I'm playing Dungeons & Dragons.
George: Oh, good.

Missy: What's up?
Coach Wilkins: Watching the game with your dad.
Missy: Where is he?
Coach Wilkins: Getting yelled at by your mom.
Missy: Cool. [sits down]

Georgie: What do you want to do later? Movies? Putt-putt?
Jana: I was thinking maybe we could go get a test.
Georgie: What kind of test?
Jana: The... pregnancy kind.
Georgie: [to a customer who enters] We're closed.
Man: But the sign says...
Georgie: We're closed!

Georgie: This can't be happening. How sure are you?
Jana: I'm not sure. That's why I want to get the test.
Georgie: Well, you don't look pregnant.
Jana: That's not how it works, Georgie.
Georgie: I know. I'm just freaking out right now.
Jana: Let's just go to the drugstore.
Georgie: Right. I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Jana: Please don't say that.