Coach Wilkins: Hey, Mary.
Mary: Wayne, come on in.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you.
Mary: George just ran to pick up some beers.
Coach Wilkins: It's funny when he runs, ain't it?

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

Coach Wilkins: You ever tell him you're proud?
George: He knows.
Coach Wilkins: I think it's important for children to hear it.
George: You don't even have kids.
Coach Wilkins: I teach and coach teenage boys. I also put up with your childish nonsense.
George: Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, I don't want to reward that.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
George: My father never said he was proud of me. I turned out just fine.
Coach Wilkins: George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, make some white folks uncomfortable. Can you please?

George: Do you have any women friends?
Coach Wilkins: Uh-oh. Mary finally wise up and kick you to the curb?
George: I'm being serious.
Coach Wilkins: I have plenty of women friends. Matter of fact, my best friend's a woman.
George: Are you gonna say your wife?
Coach Wilkins: You know I am. She got in the shower with me this morning.
George: I don't need to hear that.
Coach Wilkins: How could something be so clean and so dirty at the same time?
George: I'm sorry I asked.
Coach Wilkins: Are you upset 'cause I said she was my best friend and not you?
George: No.
Coach Wilkins: You're in the top three.
George: Stop talking to me.
Coach Wilkins: Definitely my best white friend.

Georgie: Just out of curiosity, when exactly are you and Mom leaving, and when exactly are y'all coming back?
George: You're not bringing your girlfriend here.
Georgie: Excuse me for taking an interest in your life.
George: Besides, your grandma'll be here the whole time.
Georgie: Never mind. Wait. So her house'll be empty?
George: Look, I used to be your age, but can you try thinking with your brain for once?
Georgie: If you used to be my age, I think you know the answer to that.

Darlene: Ooh, this camper is so cool.
Mary: We borrowed it from my mom's boyfriend.
George: Yeah, you might not want to poke around too much. You find my mother-in-law's bra, I'm driving into a brick wall.

Mary: So you've stayed at this hotel before?
George: Oh, yeah. It's nice. They got an indoor pool and a killer breakfast buffet. There's even a real nice gym we'll walk right past on the way to the breakfast buffet.