Sheldon: I need money for my Harvard application, and was wondering if there are any jobs I could do.
Meemaw: Hmm. My yard could use a little weeding.
Sheldon: I'm not terribly fond of outdoor work. Plus, that garden gnome terrifies me.
Meemaw: Ernesto has that effect on people.
Sheldon: How much does the job pay?
Meemaw: Well, let me think. How about a dollar an hour?
Sheldon: How about five dollars an hour?
Meemaw: How about 50 cents an hour?
Sheldon: Wait a minute. What just happened?
Meemaw: I'll tell you what. I'll give you a dollar.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Meemaw: Okay, here you go. I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
Sheldon: Did you check the gloves for spiders?
Meemaw: Is this my first day as Meemaw?

Adult Sheldon: My new adult responsibilities began that night. Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more than a set of instructions. And if there's one thing I shine at, it's following instructions.