Missy: Mom also does the good night dance.
George: Now you're just screwing with me. Night.
Sheldon: You should've gone with "sings us a lullaby."
Missy: Yeah, I got cocky.

Pastor Jeff: "That everyone who believes may have eternal life in him. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son."
[Sheldon raises his hand]
Missy: Here we go.

Pastor Jeff: You all right, Mare?
Mary: No, not really. Um. I can't stop thinking about that little girl.
Pastor Jeff: I understand. That's why it's important in these times to take comfort in our faith.
Mary: What if that's not doing the trick?
Pastor Jeff: Events like this can certainly create doubt. It happens to me more often than I'd like to admit.
Mary: What do you do?
Pastor Jeff: I roll up my sleeves and I work even harder at serving our Lord. Mary, we each have a relationship with God, and relationships take work. Get out there. Help the needy, start a Bible study, hug a stranger and tell 'em the Lord loves 'em. [CHUCKLES] But not a child; that backfires on you, big-time.

Missy: Chocolate chips for breakfast and pizza for dinner? I'm loving Dad.

Pastor Jeff: Yes, Sheldon?
Sheldon: When you said God gave his son to the world, did you mean Earth or the universe?
Pastor Jeff: Earth.
Sheldon: But if God created the universe, wouldn't he want to save all of it?
Pastor Jeff: Yes, uh, he would.
Sheldon: Then why did you say Earth?
Pastor Jeff: "Earth" is a synonym for the universe.
Meemaw: He's grabbing at straws now.

Mary: Good morning, Peg.
Peg: Well, it will be once this cup of Sanka works its magic.
Mary: Is Pastor available?
Peg: Oh, he's on the phone with his wife.
Mary: Oh, should I come back?
Peg: Nah. He usually gets his groveling done pretty quick.

Sheldon: Mom, have you received any distressing phone calls today?
Mary: No. Why?
Sheldon: Just wondering if it's an appropriate time to ask if you could take me to Radio Shack.

George: Well, I think it sounds nice.
Mary: Thank you. I'm gonna need your truck to get all the dirt and flowers and tools that I need.
George: Sure.
Mary: Oh, oh, almost forgot. Can you keep an eye out for a rock big enough to paint a Psalm on?
George: I can do that.

Adult Sheldon: Despite his concerns over her sanity, my dad found a rock worthy of her faith garden.
Mary: Ooh, right over there.
Adult Sheldon: [GRUNTS] Here?
Mary: Mm-hmm. [George drops the rock down] Gently!
George: [PANTING]: Honey, it's a rock.
Mary: I know, but still.

Missy: Why are you putting us to bed?
George: 'Cause your mother's out.
Sheldon: Where is she?
George: She's with your grandmother.
Missy: Where'd they go?
George: I don't know.
Sheldon: Why don't you know?
George: Because I'm here with you!

Meemaw: What is happening with you?
Mary: Do you really want to know? So, the other day I was making a casserole to bring over to the Hansons, and I wanted to include a sympathy card. So I started to write, "Your daughter's in a better place." [VOICE BREAKING] And I had to stop. Because how could that possibly be true? How could a better place be anywhere than at home safe with her family? She was just a little kid. That could've been Georgie behind the wheel. How could that possibly be God's plan?