Mary: I just wanted to drop off an invitation to Mandy's baby shower.
Jim: Oh. Well, that's- that's real kind of you.
Mary: And George is hoping that you'll come over and watch the game with him and Georgie.
Jim: Huh. Well, that sounds like fun.
Mary: And your son is welcome, too.
Jim: All right, well, you know, Connor ain't all that much into football or baseball. [chuckles] Or, shoot, anything with a ball, really.
Mary: Well, if you do come, I know that George is making brisket.
Jim: Brisket and football? [chuckles] Well, you drive a hard bargain.

Mary: All right, please, uh, say goodbye to your husband.
Audrey: Well, you can tell him yourself. He's hiding behind that stack of tires.
[Jim emerges from behind the tires and gives Mary a little wave]
Mary: Bye.

Mary: So, I was thinking we could do something sweet and simple, like a garden party.
Meemaw: Oh, that sounds good. I know Mandy doesn't like to make a big fuss.
Audrey: Since when? That girl has always wanted to be the center of attention.
Mary: Oh, well, I guess you would know. [chuckles]
Audrey: And garden party sounds lovely, but maybe we could do something a little more fun. Like princess or "around the world"... You know, all the places she was gonna go, but now she can't 'cause she ruined her life.
Meemaw: I like princess.
Audrey: Oh, great.

Sheldon: Hello.
Missy: Ugh, nerd movies are over there.
Sheldon: No, I need to bond with Mandy's father and brother, so I'm looking for movies they might've seen, so that we can engage in some testosterone-rich banter.
Missy: Okay, I can help you. A lot of dudes have been renting this. "Bingo. He's every family's best friend."
Sheldon: Are you tricking me?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Glad I asked. Ring me up. [Missy smiles]

Amber: Are we still on for Sunday?
Georgie: [sighs] Sorry, can't. Mandy's having a baby shower.
Amber: You're going to that?
Georgie: No, but I promised I'd hang out with her dad and brother, so... Is it weird to talk about this stuff?
Amber: Would it be weird if I talked about my ex-husband?
Georgie: Depends. What would you say?
Amber: [sighs] I don't know. Maybe that he's six-four, weighs about 240 pounds, got a short fuse.
Georgie: Yeah, I don't want to hear that.

Amber: Well, I'm fine if you want to talk about your situation.
Georgie: Oh, great, 'cause I need some advice. So, should I get Mandy a present?
Amber: You mean, like a baby gift?
Georgie: Or for her. You know, like, "Thanks for making the effort"?
Amber: [scoffs] I don't think I would engrave that on anything, but... could be sweet.
Georgie: Cool. You were just playing about your ex being that big, right? [Amber shakes her head] But the divorce was a mutual thing? He wanted it, too? [Amber shakes her head] He ain't in there, is he? [Amber laughs]

Mandy: So, uh, what are you doing here? You know you're not invited to the shower, right?
Georgie: I know. It's just, everybody's bringing presents for the baby today, so I wanted to bring one for you.
Mandy: Georgie, thank you.
Georgie: Open it.
Mandy: Okay.
Georgie: Sorry for the Christmas paper. That's all we had.
Mandy: [looks at heart-shaped locket] It's beautiful.
Georgie: Look inside.
Mandy: What am I looking at here?
Georgie: It's the sonogram of our little girl. I'm not an idiot.
Mandy: [chuckles] [sighs] That is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I-I... I love it.

Georgie: Georgie. [shakes Connor's hand] Oh, you got some paint on you. Been doing some work around the house?
Jim: [stifled chuckle] No.
Connor: I'm a painter.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, he's always in his room painting stuff, until you ask him to paint the garage. [Jim and George laugh]
Connor: You're hilarious.

Missy: This cake is amazing.
Mary: To look at, sure. I prefer cakes for eating.
Missy: What's your problem?
Mary: What's your problem?

Missy: You coming down?
Mandy: In a sec.
Missy: You're not missing much. It's real awkward down there. [Mandy chuckles] Something wrong?
Mandy: No.
Missy: Is it your mom? 'Cause something's definitely wrong with mine.
Mandy: No, she's fine. Well, she's a nightmare, but, uh, that's not it. [holds the heart-shaped locket]
Missy: Pretty.
Mandy: Yeah, Georgie got it for me. There's a sonogram of our baby inside.
Missy: Good for Georgie.
Mandy: Yeah. Good for Georgie.

Audrey: Both my children were normal weight.
Mary: Well, good job.

Meemaw: My turn. Mm-kay, the belly button's still got a little give. So, I'm gonna say... a quick and easy six pounds, two ounces... gonna slide right out of there. [chuckles]
Mandy: [sighs] I love you.

Missy: [whispers] What leaks? The boob?
Mary: Later.

Mandy: [chuckles] What's this?
Audrey: We set up a nursery in the guest room. You can move back in.
Mandy: Can we not talk about this now?
Audrey: What's the problem? You're gonna need help.
Meemaw: Who do you think's been helping her this whole time?
Audrey: And I appreciate it, but you're not her family.
Mary: We're that baby's family. Georgie's right across the street.
Audrey: Oh, yes, I'm sure a teenage boy is gonna be a lot of help. [laughs]
Mandy: You don't know what you're talking about. Georgie has been there for me the whole time, and you come in at the last minute with a store-bought castle cake, and- and you think that's gonna make up for everything?
Audrey: Okay, I can see you're a little emotional.
Mandy: Yeah, I am a little emotional right now, and you being here isn't helping. You do not get to bad-mouth Georgie. He's gonna be a better parent than you ever were.
Brenda Sparks: [quietly] Damn.
Mandy: Now, if someone would help me up, I would like to storm out. [Meemaw helps Mandy up] Thank you.
Meemaw: So, who wants cake?

George: [laughs] 14 hours of smoke and love.
Jim: Trying not to drool.
Audrey: [enters] Jim, Connor, we're leaving!
Dr. John Sturgis: All right, hon, but the brisket...
Audrey: Now!
George: I'll make you a doggy bag.
Audrey: Jim. [walks off]
George: Poor bastard.