Amber: Well, I'm fine if you want to talk about your situation.
Georgie: Oh, great, 'cause I need some advice. So, should I get Mandy a present?
Amber: You mean, like a baby gift?
Georgie: Or for her. You know, like, "Thanks for making the effort"?
Amber: [scoffs] I don't think I would engrave that on anything, but... could be sweet.
Georgie: Cool. You were just playing about your ex being that big, right? [Amber shakes her head] But the divorce was a mutual thing? He wanted it, too? [Amber shakes her head] He ain't in there, is he? [Amber laughs]

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Adult Sheldon: Every culture has its own traditions to celebrate important life events: bar mitzvahs, quinceañeras, baby's first Comic-Con. My favorites are funeral and baby shower. They're the only two thrown in your honor you're not expected to attend. [whispers] Love it.

Meemaw: But then again, Georgie was a big'un.
Mandy: How big?
Mary: Almost ten pounds.
Mandy: Ten pounds?
Meemaw: She walked like a cowboy for months. [laughs]

Mandy: [gasps] Oh, a nursing bra. "Includes removable pads to prevent leakage." Wow. Thanks. That's... really thoughtful.
Brenda Sparks: Mine dripped like a faucet.
Missy: Wait, I have a question.
Mary: Please ask it later.