George Sr.: We can't afford it, end of story.
Mary: Not exactly end of story.
George Sr.: What's that mean?
Mary: I've been setting money aside the last couple of years, and this might be a good use for it.
George Sr.: Money from what?
Mary: You know, here and there. Bookkeeping for the church, some seamstress work, birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.
George Sr.: And just how much of this "here and there" money you got saved up?
Mary: Well, seeing as it's my money, I don't think that's any of your business.
George Sr.: None of my business? You see every nickel I make, and you got secret money?
Mary: It's not secret. I just told you.
George Sr.: Where you hiding it?
Mary: Well, now you're headed into secret territory.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Meemaw: I could buy it for him, and then y'all could pay me back when you can.
George Sr.: Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.
Meemaw: Well, that was not my intention, but I'm glad to hear it.