Mary: I'm sorry. I'll stop.
Pastor Jeff: Hey, even though I'm looking fly, I'm still your pastor.
Mary: Well it's more than the wedding. Overnight, I became a wife and a mother. I feel like I missed out on a lot.
Pastor Jeff: Well, sometimes the Lord has his own plans for us. And if it helps, Robin and I always talk about how much we admire you and your family.
Mary: Really?
Pastor Jeff: Your marriage may have gotten off to a rough start, but if that's what it took to get where you are, maybe God knew what he was doing.
Mary: [sighs] You know what? Let's get back to planning your wedding.
Pastor Jeff: Oh, no. You're done. You may be a great wife and mother, but you stink at this.
Mary: That's fair.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Adult Sheldon: None of my friends had recorded the episode. I called Tam. I called Dr. Sturgis. Those were all my friends.

Adult Sheldon: Fortunately, having a modem granted me access to an even better kind of friend: the kind you don't have to see or talk to.

Adult Sheldon: Many inventions changed people's lives for the better: the light bulb, the polio vaccine, and one that doesn't get enough credit, the home video cassette recorder. It didn't help keep people out of wheelchairs, but it did keep me from missing Star Trek.