Mary: Mind if I make some room to sit?
Mr. Gilford: You're staying?
Mary: Yes, I'm staying. I'm here to keep you company.
Mr. Gilford: Why? So you'll look like some kind of Good Samaritan?
Mary: Because God calls on us to serve our fellow man. Romans 12:13, "Share with the Lord's people who are"-
Mr. Gilford: What are you doing?
Mary: Quoting scripture.
Mr. Gilford: Well, I don't want to hear that.
Mary: You don't want to hear the Bible?
Mr. Gilford: Not from some woman.
Mary: Excuse me?
Mr. Gilford: Where have you been? Women don't preach in our church.
Mary: Well, I'm not in our church, I'm in your living room, which is, by the way, disgusting.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Adult Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis was a wise man. It was a learning opportunity. And when the day comes that I'm wrong, I fully plan to admit it.

Ms. Hutchins: Sheldon, why aren't you in second period?
Sheldon: I'm working on this math problem.
Ms. Hutchins: I think you might be the first person in history who's ever cut class to do math.
Sheldon: The irony wasn't lost on me.

Sheldon: Thank you for asking. I appreciate it. And how are you doing?
Ms. Hutchins: Since when are you interested?
Sheldon: My father told me I should be kind to old people.
Ms. Hutchins: How old do you think I am?
Sheldon: My father also told me if a woman ever asks you that, it's a trap.
Ms. Hutchins: Smart man.
Sheldon: But I'll say 53.