George: Morning. Just a reminder, I'm gonna be late tonight. Hanging with my new buddy Dale.
Meemaw: Well, I hope you two have fun together.
George: Oh, we will. So much to talk about.
Mary: You better respect her privacy.
George: Oh, I don't plan on doing that at all.
Meemaw: Don't you need to go to work?
George: Yes, but I don't want to leave until I know you're upset.
Meemaw: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not.
George: Yeah, you are. Bye.

Georgie: Veronica.
Veronica: Hey, Georgie. What's up?
Georgie: We're-we're friends, right?
Veronica: Yeah.
Georgie: We're just friends?
Veronica: What do you mean?
Georgie: Well, I've asked you out a bunch and you've made it pretty clear you weren't interested, but before I asked out another girl, I just wanted to make sure that-
Veronica: It's fine.
Georgie: You sure? Because if it's not-
Veronica: Georgie, I need to focus on my relationship with God right now, but I'm really happy for you.

Mary: I'm sorry those girls were so mean.
Missy: They didn't just call me a boy. They wouldn't sit with me at lunch. No one talked to me at recess.
Mary: Aw, baby.
Missy: Somebody crossed out "Missy Cooper" in my notebook and wrote "Mister Cooper."
Mary: Well, if that's what they're like, maybe you don't want them as friends.
Missy: I don't think I want to play baseball anymore.
Mary: If that's what you want, it's your decision.

Brenda Sparks: [on the phone] Listen, I'm just doing you a favor. The other moms on the team are starting to talk.
Mary: Well, maybe the other moms need to mind their own business.
Brenda Sparks: Come on, Mary. Isn't one weird kid in your family enough? You going for a record?
Mary: [hanging up] You're playing baseball.
Missy: But you said it was my decision.
Mary: It is. And you're playing.

Meemaw: Can I top off your coffee?
George: Well, that's awfully nice of you.
Meemaw: You know me. I'm a pleaser.
George: You just want to know what I talked about with Dale.
Meemaw: Not really.
George: I promise you got nothing to worry about. I didn't say a thing.
Meemaw: Thank you. So what'd you find out about him?
George: Oh, I see how this works.
Meemaw: You're damn straight that's how it works. Now spill.

George: Ejected from your very first game. I'm proud of you, slugger.
Missy: Thanks, Dad.
Meemaw: Dairy Queen's on me.
Mary: To be clear, we are not rewarding violence. But I am glad you didn't let those girls from school bully you into quitting.
Missy: I should rub their faces in the dirt.
George: That's my girl.
Meemaw: Someone's getting extra sprinkles tonight.
George: Ooh, hooray for violence.

Dr. John Sturgis: [answering the phone] Hello?
Sheldon: I'm having a scientific argument with someone and I need your help.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do love a good science fight. Has it devolved to name-calling yet?
Sheldon: Yes. I called him a Pongo pygmaeus.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh! A Bornean orangutan. That is a creature who would be very bad at science. Well done.
Sheldon: I know.