Georgie: How about this: no hourly wage, just a cut.
Meemaw: What kind of cut you thinking?
Georgie: Five percent.
Meemaw: Three percent.
Georgie: Five.
Meemaw: Three.
Georgie: You're supposed to go in the middle and say four.
Meemaw: Why don't you say four?
Georgie: Fine, four.
Meemaw: Two.
Georgie: Come on.

Mary: Why don't you two have a seat.
Missy: In here? Did somebody die?
Mary: No, I just want to talk to you.
Missy: They're getting divorced.
Sheldon: At least they waited until one of us was in college.
Mary: We are not getting a divorce. Just sit.

Mary: So, you two are both growing up, and I thought that maybe it might be time to have a talk about... that and some of the things that go along with... that.
Missy: [whispers] What is happening?
Sheldon: I think she's trying to have the human reproduction talk.
Missy: Oh, God.
Mary: Uh, speaking of God, He is very clear about the do's and the don'ts, especially the don'ts.
Missy: I'm not talking about this with you.
Sheldon: I don't think you'll have any new information for me, but I'm happy to chime in with biology facts.

Sheldon: You can't be too young if you're an aphid, some of them are born pregnant.
Missy: [to Mary] I didn't do anything wrong. I just asked some questions.
Mary: Well, you can ask me.
Missy: I'm not asking you anything, ever. [storms out]
Sheldon: It's just her hormones. Would you like to learn more? When children reach adolescence, a cascade of hormones are released...

[As Missy sits on her bed, writing in her diary and listening to music, she is startled as she looks up and sees Sheldon stood outside her window.]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Making sure you don't run away.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: Because that's what happened the last time you and Mom fought.
Missy: [opens window] I'm not going anywhere. Now, get out of here, creepo.
Sheldon: Why did you get so mad at Mom?
Missy: I don't want to talk to her about that stuff. It's so embarrassing.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: If you have to ask, then something's wrong with you.
Sheldon: But the topic was procreation, and she clearly has procreated.
Missy: Ew.

Mary: Actually, um... I might have overstepped yesterday. In fact, I... think there might be some value in the kids hearing some of these things from people other than their parents.
Pastor Rob: Great. [chuckles] Hey, maybe it's something you and I could do together?
Mary: Oh, no, no, no, this was your idea.
Pastor Rob: Yeah, but you've got way more experience. With kids, I mean.
Mary: [chuckles] I know what you meant.
Pastor Rob: [chuckles] Plus, it would be great for them to hear from a woman. So, either you or Peg, so...
Mary: Oh. I want to scare them, but not that much.

Pastor Rob: Actually, this is great. You can tell the kids how you waited till marriage. I think it'll be really powerful for them to hear your story.
Mary: Uh-huh, right, right. Right.
Pastor Rob: Something seems not right.
Mary: Um, it's just, um... [chuckles] I didn't wait all the way until marriage.
Pastor Rob: Hey, none of my business.
Mary: Thank you.
Pastor Rob: But I appreciate the honesty. [silence] Well, this just got a little awkward.
Mary: Yup. Yeah. [laughs]
Pastor Rob: All right, have a good one.
Mary: Okay. Oh... [stammers]

Meemaw: Oh! Don't take all my money! I'm just a Texas grandma trying to make people happy. [laughs]

Meemaw: How we doing?
Georgie: There's a problem with the cash box.
Meemaw: Oh, what's that?
Georgie: I can't get it to close.
Meemaw: That is my kind of problem.

Georgie: Fine. Good luck laundering this money without me.
Meemaw: You know how to do that?
Georgie: I've seen Scarface, like, ten times.
Meemaw: Great. I'll just watch Scarface.
Georgie: Dang it.

Mary: [enters] Pastor Jeff, you wanted to see me... Oh. Hello.
Pastor Rob: Looks like we both got called to the principal's office. Guess we've been naughty.
Mary: [laughing] That's not a thing.
Pastor Jeff: You okay?
Mary: Yeah, I just didn't sleep too good.
Pastor Jeff: Well, I didn't either. My phone was ringing off the hook. Apparently, this little talk y'all were planning on giving is causing quite the tizzy.
Pastor Rob: A good tizzy?
Pastor Jeff: There's no such thing as a good tizzy. There's only bad tizzies.
Pastor Rob: You know who wasn't afraid of causing a tizzy?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah, yeah, Jesus, but He didn't get 14 messages from angry parents on his answering machine. There was probably more, but that little tape got full.

Adult Sheldon: When children reach adolescence, a cascade of hormones are released... causing mood swings, impulsive behavior and an unbelievable amount of eye rolling.
George: [cheers] I knew it. [Missy rolls her eyes]
Adult Sheldon: During this time of change, members of the opposite sex who caught my sister's fancy included: New Kids on the Block, Rufio from the movie Hook, and, oddly enough, our new Sunday school teacher, Pastor Rob.
Missy: Was Mary Magdalene Jesus's girlfriend?
Pastor Rob: No, just one of his followers. Yeah, Jesus didn't have a girlfriend.
Missy: Do you have a girlfriend?
Pastor Rob: No. No, I don't.
Billy Sparks: I don't have a girlfriend either.
Pastor Rob: All right. You and me, Billy, couple of bachelors.

Missy: [to Pastor Rob] Are you allowed to have a girlfriend?
Sheldon: In the Baptist church, yes.
Pastor Rob: Pastor Jeff is married.
Sheldon: And was married before, so he's had two wives, but not at the same time, that's not allowed.
Pastor Rob: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: At least not anymore. In the Old Testament, Abraham had two, Jacob had four, and Solomon had 1,000, but those were largely for political alliances.
Pastor Rob: Fun fact: only 700 of those were wives. The other were concubines.
Sheldon: I wouldn't count on the Bible for facts, but that was fun.

Missy: So boyfriends and girlfriends are okay?
Pastor Rob: The way I see it, God is love, so if we love someone else in a committed relationship, we're feeling God.
Missy: So, holding hands is okay?
Pastor Rob: Sure.
Missy: What about kissing?
Pastor Rob: Maybe at some point, when you're older.
Missy: And what exactly is third base?

Pastor Rob: See? Even we have questions. Why wouldn't the kids? I think they deserve honest answers.
Mary: You seem to know a lot about children for someone who has none of their own.
Peg: [imitates cat growling]