Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Are we in my office?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then these are not my office hours.
Sheldon: Are you using my love of schedules against me?
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Oh, yes.
Sheldon: Well done.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Great.
Sheldon: Do you think you could get me access to the telescope room? I want to search for exoplanets that could support life.
Dr. Linkletter: Are you feeling homesick?
Sheldon: Are you implying that I'm from another planet?
Dr. Linkletter: Yes.
Sheldon: Compliment accepted.

Sheldon: President Hagemeyer, we have a problem.
President Hagemeyer: What now, Sheldon? The Yoo-hoos in the vending machine aren't cold enough?
Sheldon: Actually, they aren't, but we'll table that for later.

Sheldon: I need telescope time to search for exoplanets, and Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis have denied my request.
President Hagemeyer: Why?
Sheldon: They said that kind of research would expose both me and the university to criticism.
President Hagemeyer: [stifled laugh] Well, that's outrageous.
Sheldon: So, you'll give me access?
President Hagemeyer: Gosh, no. I want to, but... I'm just the president. [chuckles] Use of the telescope has to be approved by a... science advisor.
Sheldon: Is that true?
President Hagemeyer: Does it sound true?
Sheldon: I suppose it does.
President Hagemeyer: Then I suppose it is.
Sheldon: Why did I even come to you?
President Hagemeyer: [gasps] Remember that next time.

Mary: Let me ask you something.
Sheldon: Answers are my thing. Go for it.
Mary: Do you really believe in all this space alien stuff?
Sheldon: Well, it's simple probability theory. There are over a hundred billion stars in our galaxy. So it's likely that a few of them could support life, or even technological civilization.
Mary: And did Jesus die for their sins as well?
Sheldon: You have your stories, I have mine.

Sheldon: Now, about the telescope room, I was watching Star Trek and it got me thinking...
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, searching for life on other planets isn't serious science. Leave that to the tinfoil hat brigade.
Sheldon: But statistically, given the number of stars and planets, it's likely we could find one capable of supporting life. And if we did, it would be the greatest scientific discovery of all time.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes, and if I had fruit on my head, I'd be Carmen Miranda.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that reference.
Dr. Linkletter: She sang and danced with fruit on her head.
Sheldon: Why would she have fruit on her head?
Dr. Linkletter: I don't know, in case she got hungry. It's not gonna happen, Sheldon!

Sheldon: How can you just dismiss a line of inquiry out of hand?
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, sometimes I say no just for kicks. This time it's for your own good. Scientists who pursue little green men get laughed at.
Sheldon: Well, I care about science, not my reputation. And if you're not willing to help me, I know someone who is.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: We'll be mocked by physicists, engineers, even mathematicians. And they don't just say you're an idiot... they prove it.
Sheldon: And if I had fruit on my head, I'd be Carmen Miranda.
Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Sheldon: I didn't understand it either.

Brenda Sparks: You friends with this girl?
Missy: [scoffs] I wish. She is so popular. One time she said she liked my outfit... I wore it for a week.
Brenda Sparks: [scoffs] What am I gonna do? [both sigh]
Missy: You could tell Billy he's too young to date.
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles softly] That's good. You might be the coolest person in this house.
Missy: Low bar, but thanks.

Georgie: Will you marry...
Mandy: Yeah, I heard the question. Why are you asking it?
Georgie: Well, 'cause I love you.
Mandy: [scoffs] Do ya?
Georgie: I think so.
Mandy: You were just on a date with another girl.
Georgie: Yeah, and I could be at her place right now, but instead, I'm here with you.
Mandy: Oh, well, thank you for your sacrifice.
Georgie: I'm 18 years old... believe me, that's a sacrifice. [Constance cries]
Mandy: Oh, great. Are you happy?
Georgie: Maybe she's crying because her mom don't want to marry her dad.
Mandy: Or maybe she's crying 'cause her mom wants to strangle her dad.

Mary: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Dad and I are watching Star Trek. [George snores] I guess I'm watching Star Trek.
Mary: Want me to watch with you?
Sheldon: Sure. Let me catch you up. The Enterprise is traveling to Eminiar VII to resolve their war with the neighboring Vendikar.
Mary: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: But Kirk suspects that instead of having a real war, the Eminiaries and the Vendikaries are having a computer-simulated conflict.
Mary: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: In Kirk's opinion, by keeping the horrors of war at arm's length, they're simply prolonging it.

Mary: Whew. Sounds like Georgie's home. George, wake up. Watch Star Trek with your son.
George: [exhales] What's happening?
Sheldon: Well, the Enterprise is traveling to Eminiar VII to resolve their war with the neighboring Vendikar. However, Kirk suspects that instead of fighting a real war, the Eminiaries and the Vendikaries are fighting a computer-simulated conflict. Uh-uh. Stay awake.
George: I'm awake.

Mary: Everything okay?
Georgie: I don't want to talk about it.
Mary: You and Amber have a fight?
Georgie: We broke up.
Mary: Oh, no. I'm sorry. Well... Maybe it's a good thing because you and Mandy and CeeCee make such a cute little family.
Georgie: Mm-hmm.
Mary: You know, I see the way she's been looking at you.
Georgie: Stop.
Mary: I mean it. I think she's ready to give you another chance.
Georgie: Yeah, maybe I should just ask her to marry me.
Mary: Well... [chuckles] you don't want to scare her off. [clears throat]

Meemaw: You're up early.
Mandy: Georgie usually comes over and feeds her in the morning. But I think he's mad at me.
Meemaw: Yeah, you reject a guy's marriage proposal, they tend to take it personal.
Mandy: You speaking from experience?
Meemaw: I've broken a couple of hearts in my day.

Dr. Bell: Just a warning, she's gonna get some shots today.
Mandy: Okay, kid. You don't cry, I don't cry. Actually, I'm gonna cry either way, but you don't cry.

Mandy: Hey. Wasn't sure you were coming.
Georgie: Well, I'm here.
Dr. Bell: You must be Mr. McAllister.
Georgie: She's McAllister. I'm Cooper.
Mandy: Can you not?
Georgie: Well, I just don't want her to think we're married. I know how embarrassing that'd be for you.
Mandy: That is not what I said.
Georgie: We're not married.
Dr. Bell: Really not my business.