Sheldon: Now, about the telescope room, I was watching Star Trek and it got me thinking...
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, searching for life on other planets isn't serious science. Leave that to the tinfoil hat brigade.
Sheldon: But statistically, given the number of stars and planets, it's likely we could find one capable of supporting life. And if we did, it would be the greatest scientific discovery of all time.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes, and if I had fruit on my head, I'd be Carmen Miranda.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that reference.
Dr. Linkletter: She sang and danced with fruit on her head.
Sheldon: Why would she have fruit on her head?
Dr. Linkletter: I don't know, in case she got hungry. It's not gonna happen, Sheldon!

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Are we in my office?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then these are not my office hours.
Sheldon: Are you using my love of schedules against me?
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Oh, yes.
Sheldon: Well done.

Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, thank you for coming in. I want to apologize for our little tiff earlier.
Sheldon: You're forgiven.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh. Great. I found something that might be of interest to you. An authentic signature from Richard Feynman.
Sheldon: Where did you get this?
Dr. Linkletter: Details aren't important.
Sheldon: Is this a restraining order?
Dr. Linkletter: Not important.
Sheldon: That's actually a really good way to get autographs. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Jim: Here we are. Grab a shovel and dig in. There you go.
Dr. Linkletter: I spent the summer in Italy once.
Georgie: Bringing back memories?
Dr. Linkletter: No.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, I need to talk to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Are we in my office?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then these are not my office hours.
Sheldon: Are you using my love of schedules against me?
Dr. Linkletter: [chuckles] Oh, yes.
Sheldon: Well done.

Sheldon: I need telescope time to search for exoplanets, and Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis have denied my request.
President Hagemeyer: Why?
Sheldon: They said that kind of research would expose both me and the university to criticism.
President Hagemeyer: [stifled laugh] Well, that's outrageous.
Sheldon: So, you'll give me access?
President Hagemeyer: Gosh, no. I want to, but... I'm just the president. [chuckles] Use of the telescope has to be approved by a... science advisor.
Sheldon: Is that true?
President Hagemeyer: Does it sound true?
Sheldon: I suppose it does.
President Hagemeyer: Then I suppose it is.
Sheldon: Why did I even come to you?
President Hagemeyer: [gasps] Remember that next time.

Sheldon: President Hagemeyer, we have a problem.
President Hagemeyer: What now, Sheldon? The Yoo-hoos in the vending machine aren't cold enough?
Sheldon: Actually, they aren't, but we'll table that for later.