Herschel Sparks: I feel bad about the whole thing with the kids.
George: Hey, it happens.
Herschel Sparks: I know, but Bobbi shouldn't be beatin' on Sheldon like that. It's not okay.
George: What's not okay is Sheldon gettin' beat up by a little girl.
Herschel Sparks: Well ... yeah.

Mary: My house is immaculate. George, tell them.
George: Uh, she does keep a nice house.
Herschel Sparks: Honey, it's a pretty good chance it was Bucky.
Brenda Sparks: Whose side are you on?
Herschel Sparks: Yours, always yours.

Herschel Sparks: Hey, uh, I hear congratulations are in order.
George: What's that you hear?
Herschel Sparks: Maybe I didn't hear it.
George: Never mind. It's all right. Seems like everybody knows.
Herschel Sparks: You don't seem terribly enthusiastic.
George: [sighs] It's the money, Herschel. It's all about the money.
Herschel Sparks: [sighs] Well, there's only one solution to that.
George: Which is?
Herschel Sparks: You got to make more money.
George: Thank you.
Herschel Sparks: Welcome.