Dale: Hey, you know, when I was young and lost and mad at the world, picking up a guitar kept me from going down a bad road.
Meemaw: So, what're you saying? Missy and Sheldon should form a band?
Dale: Worked for the Carpenters.
Meemaw: Put some pants on.
Dale: [plays guitar and sings] ♪ I got no pants ♪ ♪ On my legs ♪

George: This sure is a sweet setup.
Dale: Well, now, thank you very much.
Georgie: This thing is nicer than our house.
George: It's not nicer than our house.
Dale: Well, don't be too sure now. I got microwave and air-conditioning. I got a stack of old Playboys back there in the bathroom.
George: Okay, maybe.

Dr. John Sturgis: Dale?
Dale: No, I think I know how to fish, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? 'Cause it doesn't look like it.
Dale: Well, maybe that's because all your talking is scaring the fish away.
Dr. John Sturgis: Evidence suggests your theory is incorrect.
Dale: Well, evidence suggests I need another beer.