Meemaw: By chance, would you talk to her for me?
George: I'm sorry. Are you asking me for a favor?
Meemaw: Yes.
George: Mm. I didn't hear the magic word.
Meemaw: How about this? Why don't you pay me back the money I gave you for the down payment on this house?
George: Thank you. Was that so hard?

Mandy: And stop defending her.
Georgie: I'm not defending her. I was just taught to respect my elders.
Mandy: I'm your elder.
Georgie: When I say that, you get mad.
Mandy: Yeah, 'cause you shouldn't say it.
Georgie: Yes, ma'am. [nods]
Mandy: Oh. Oh, you think you're funny?
Georgie: No, ma'am. [shakes head]
Mandy: Mm-hmm. [exits]

Jim: Why are you arguing with her?
Georgie: What? I was just trying to be a good husband, and take Mandy's side.
Jim: Okay, you know a great time to take Mandy's side? When you're alone with Mandy. And when you're with Audrey...
Georgie: Take Audrey's side.
Jim: Okay, there's hope for you. When you're alone with me in a closet, feel free to speak your mind.
Georgie: Seems a little complicated.
Jim: Oh, it is.

Sheldon: Wow. What a mess.
Meemaw: Yeah.
Sheldon: You want me to organize this whole room in two days?
Meemaw: I do.
Sheldon: Oh, boy. Thank you, Meemaw.

George: So, how'd the first day of giving back to the community go?
Meemaw: I sorted a pair of work pants that had a prosthetic leg still in it. [George snorts] Shut up.
Mary: Oh, don't be so dramatic.
Meemaw: 180 hours, Mary.
Mary: Only 174 to go.
Meemaw: You're enjoying this, aren't ya?
Mary: Darn tootin'.

Meemaw: What are you doing here?
Mary: Helping.
Meemaw: I thought I was a disappointment.
Mary: I can be disappointed with you and still not want you to go to jail.

Audrey: Good idea. Let the baby be in charge.
Mandy: No, actually, I left my mother in charge, but I won't make that mistake again.
Audrey: Amanda, I'm trying to teach her self-reliance, but if you prefer to coddle her, you go right ahead.
Mandy: I'm sorry, are you accusing me of babying my baby? Because I am her mother and I think I know when she needs me. [Constance quiets]
Audrey: You were saying? [Constance cries]
Mandy: Ha!
Audrey: You're happy your daughter's crying?
Mandy: I'm happy you're wrong.

Meemaw: All right, I'm here. Clock me in for 9:30.
Mary: It's 10:15.
Meemaw: I prayed on the way in. That counts.
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: Fine. Call it 9:45.
Mary: Let me just finish up this payroll here and then we'll find some work for you to do.
Meemaw: No hurry. I'm just gonna lay down here and close my eyes for a minute.

Mary: Anyway. If you have anything that you need help with, my mom is here to work.
Pastor Jeff: Oh. Well, I do need my suit picked up from the dry cleaner.
Meemaw: Is that the dry cleaner next to the nail salon?
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
Meemaw: I'm on it.
Mary: Or... you know what we could really use is someone to help organize the donation room.
Pastor Jeff: That's a big job.
Meemaw: Too late. I'm getting the suit.
Mary: I'll get it on my way to the bank. That way, you can start on the donation room instead of getting your nails done.
Meemaw: [to Pastor Jeff] You're the boss around here. What's your call?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, actually, he's the boss. What's that? He says it's Mary's call.

Meemaw: Oh, my God.
Mary: We don't say that, but... yeah.
Meemaw: This is gonna take forever.
Mary: How many hours is your community service?
Meemaw: Hundred eighty.
Mary: Than you better get cracking. Maybe I'll get my nails done.

Georgie: Hey, we got any fresh binkies? I found this one in her diaper.
Audrey: Drying rack. [Constance crying o.s.] Or... you could just let her soothe herself.
Georgie: What do you mean?
Audrey: Well, if you give her a pacifier every time she fusses, she'll never learn.
Georgie: So, I should just let her cry?
Audrey: Whatever you think is best.
Georgie: Can't you just tell me?

Mandy: What are you waiting for?
Georgie: Well, your mom was just saying if we give it to her every time she's cranky, she'll never learn.
Mandy: Oh, is that what she said?
Audrey: I'm just trying to help.
Mandy: I told you we don't need your help.
Georgie: We don't?
Mandy: What do you think? [Constance continues crying]
Georgie: Well... [Mandy grabs the binky and walks off] Should I go after her?
Audrey: You're her husband. You decide.
Georgie: [to himself] Why won't anybody tell me anything?

Meemaw: I got her on my ass, I got Officer Thomason on my ass.
George: Who's that?
Meemaw: My probation officer.
George: Mm. Wait. Rhonda Thomason?
Meemaw: You know her?
George: Yeah. Her kid's on varsity. Nice lady. Brings grapes to halftime.
Meemaw: She could get the judge to reduce my hours, but she won't do it.
George: Yeah, like I said, nice lady.

Mandy: How could you not take my side?
Georgie: Sorry, but we don't really know what we're doing. [Mandy scoffs] I mean, I don't. You are a natural.
Mandy: We're her parents. We should decide how to raise her.
Georgie: Okay, but your mom's done this before. I mean, she raised you. And you're pretty great.
Mandy: Do you honestly think I'm gonna fall for that?
Georgie: No, you're way too smart.
Mandy: Oh, cut it out.

George: Well, uh... you may not know this, but, uh, one of your... clients happens to be my mother-in-law.
Officer Rhonda Thomason: Connie Tucker.
George: She's a character, ain't she?
Officer Rhonda Thomason: And she asked you to come down here to see if I would go easy on her?
George: What? No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah.
Officer Rhonda Thomason: 'Cause she thinks she deserves special treatment?
George: Yeah, well, you're just hitting the nail on the head today.
Officer Rhonda Thomason: Let me ask you a question. Would you give one of your players special treatment if they were ducking practice?
George: No, if anything, I'm tougher on those kids.
Officer Rhonda Thomason: So if I understand you, you're saying I should be tougher on your mother-in-law.
George: I just made it worse, didn't I?
Officer Rhonda Thomason: No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.
George: Okay, then. Thanks for the grapes.