Mary: I know you like to just keep driving, and get where you're going, but you can't ignore his bathroom schedule.
George: I know.
Mary: He goes number one first thing in the morning, then again in the afternoon, once more in the late afternoon, say 4:00/4:30, depending on his juice intake, and then, a quick piddle before bedtime.
George: "Piddle". Got it.
Mary: Now, number two's a little trickier.

Georgie: Looks like rain.
Adult Sheldon: My brother, on the other hand, didn't have to pretend.

George: I thought you didn't like taking the Lord's name in vain?
Mary: Oh, shut up.
George: It's been a while, huh?
Mary: Don't blame me. You're the one who had a heart attack.
George: Mm, the doctor did say I needed to get more exercise.
Mary: I think he meant walks around the block.
George: No, he winked at me, and did this little rotation with his hips.

George: Hey, we got any plans this weekend?
Mary: I thought maybe we could get started on the vegetable garden, and then, of course, church on Sunday.
George: Yeah, that does sound fun, but what if, instead, I was to go up to Bethy Creek with Georgie and do some fishing?
Mary: How long you been waiting to spring that on me?
George: Well, not till I was done rotating my hips.
Mary: You're awful.

Mary: Who says you have to take him fishing? Find something else to do with him. Something he'd like.
George: What are we gonna do? Spend the weekend sitting around, thinking?

Mary: George, you have to make an effort. Young boys who don't spend time with their daddies grow up to be oddballs.
George: Honey, I hate to tell you, but that ball is already pretty odd.

George: So, Sheldon, me and Georgie are gonna take a little road trip this weekend, see the shuttle launch.
Georgie: Looks like I don't get a vote in this.
George: Oh, good, you're catching on.

Mary: Okay, let's talk about food.
George: No need to. He likes his meat cooked to at least 165 degrees, except for chicken which is 180. The different foods can't touch each other on the plate. Ketchup and mustard must come out of a packet. No bottles.
Mary: What about his issues with spaghetti?
George: That's a trick question. He likes spaghetti.

Mary: What's going on?
George: I can't find Sheldon.
Mary: What do you mean, you can't find him?
George: I mean I don't know where he is.
Mary: Well, he's got to be somewhere.
George: Maybe he got that time machine to work.

Mary: Isn't this exciting? It's just us girls, no boys in the house.
Meemaw: The place already smells better.

Missy: So what are we gonna do?
Mary: How would you like to go to the beauty salon and get all done up?
Missy: Can I have orange hair like Cyndi Lauper?
Mary: I don't think so.
Missy: Meemaw has friends with blue hair.
Meemaw: She's right. I haven't gone there yet, but after a certain age, it's mandatory.

Sheldon: Dad?
George: Yeah?
Sheldon: Would you like to have a conversation?
George: Yeah. Sure. Absolutely.
Sheldon: All right, what would you like to talk about?
George: Um, well, let's see. Uh, have you given much thought to what you want to be when you grow up?
Sheldon: I have.
George: Great. ... And what would that be?
Sheldon: Oh, most likely a scientist. Unless I stay in Texas, then I'm thinking cattle baron.
George: Cattle baron?
Sheldon: Assuming I don't have to touch the cows.
George: Goes without saying.

Sheldon: This is a terrible driving game.
George: Is it roadkill if it's still twitchin'?

Sheldon: Huh, both alive and dead, just like Schrodinger's cat.
George: I didn't know he had a cat.
Sheldon: You've heard of Schrodinger?
George: Sure. It's the kid from Charlie Brown who plays the piano. Lucy's got a crush on him.

Georgie: Oh, dead crow. There ain't no doubt about that one.