Mary: I know you like to just keep driving, and get where you're going, but you can't ignore his bathroom schedule.
George Sr.: I know.
Mary: He goes number one first thing in the morning, then again in the afternoon, once more in the late afternoon, say 4:00/4:30, depending on his juice intake, and then, a quick piddle before bedtime.
George Sr.: "Piddle". Got it.
Mary: Now, number two's a little trickier.

Sheldon: Regardless, I'm not interested in making any more friends.
Mary: Oh, I don't think that's how you really feel.
Sheldon: It is. From now on, it's a hermit's life for me.
Mary: I bet, when you grow up, you will be surrounded by lots of smart, wonderful friends.
Sheldon: I can't see that happening.

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: [turns around] What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.

Mary: Wait, Georgie. Where's your bag?
George Jr.: Don't need one. Got my toothbrush right here.
Mary: What about clothes? A change of underwear?
George Jr.: Got it.
Mary: Georgie, you're gonna be gone for two days.
George Jr.: I'll turn them inside out.