Mary: Oh, Lord, I missed you.
George: Oh-ho. I missed you, too.
Mary: I was talking to the bed. [George laughs]
George: Been a while since we've been apart so long.
Mary: Oh, I know.
George: A long time for a man to be without his wife.
Mary: George, I want to, but I just spent 18 hours with you know who. I need to sleep.
George: Understood. Wouldn't take long, but understood.
Mary: I promise, if you wait, it'll be worth it. I might even have a little surprise for you.
George: Ooh, I like the sound of that. All right, I can wait. [chuckles] But if you can't wait, just give me a poke in the ribs. I'll be ready right quick.

[After Sheldon knocks on his bedroom door, Mandy opens in it the middle of the night:]
Mandy: What?
Sheldon: The baby's crying.
Mandy: You really are a genius.

Meemaw: [answers phone] Hello.
Sheldon: Meemaw, it's me.
Meemaw: Shelly. Everything okay?
Sheldon: No, everything's terrible. The baby stole my room and won't stop crying and now they're making me sleep in the garage.
Meemaw: What do you need me to do?
Sheldon: Pick me up and I can stay with you.
Meemaw: Oh, well, this is Dale's house. I have to ask him.
Dale: Ask me what?
Meemaw: [covers phone] It's Shelly. He wants to spend the night.
Dale: Oh, yeah, it'd be nice to see the little guy.
Meemaw: Dale says no. See you in the morning. [hangs up]

Mary: So, how's it going, you two living together?
Meemaw: She's leaving out, "in sin."
Mary: I didn't say it.
Dale: Well, don't we get a pass for being old?
Mary: I didn't say anything.
Meemaw: With his back being all askew, there's not much sinning going on.
Dale: Well, not none. We find ways to be creative.
Mary: I don't want to know. [scoffs]

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper.
Evan: What?
Sheldon: I finished reading, and my name's Sheldon Cooper.
Evan: Wh... You finished it?
Sheldon: Yes.
Evan: No, you didn't. Uh... How can I program this with a reduced instruction set?
Sheldon: Use a lexicographic ordering algorithm.
Evan: [scoffs] Impressive. You should major in computer science.
Sheldon: [laughs] No, thanks, I'll stick to real science.

Evan: Wh... Dude, this is the future. I mean, computers are gonna change the whole world.
Sheldon: Maybe commerce, communications, media and banking, but nothing important.
Evan: [scoffs] Uh, what's so important about what you're studying?
Sheldon: String theory, where do I begin? It explains everything. It unifies the fundamental forces in an elegant way.
Evan: Yeah, but what does it do?
Sheldon: Hmm... Get out.

Coach Wilkins: Ants on a log?
George: No.
Coach Wilkins: They're not real ants. It's raisins.
George: I know what they are, Wayne.

Sheldon: [toilet flushes] Well, that was Chernobyl-adjacent.
Evan: Sorry, still getting used to Tex-Mex.
Sheldon: You don't have to be from Texas to flush.
Evan: Noted.

Evan: You, uh, grow up around here?
Sheldon: Medford. It's not as nice as it sounds.
Evan: Oh. Yeah, now you ask where I'm from.
Sheldon: I don't do that.
Evan: Cool. Oh, so what is the girl situation here?
Sheldon: I don't do that either.
Evan: You into guys?
Sheldon: I'm into science. Everything else is a distraction.

Sheldon: Ooh, that's a big gun. How'd you do that?
Evan: I just put in the cheat code.
Sheldon: Excuse me? I do not cheat.
Evan: Wh... No, it's not cheating, you know, it's- it's like a-a secret command that gives you extra powers.
Sheldon: And it's called a what code?
Evan: Wh... No. It's part of the game, you know. They build it in.
Sheldon: So you condone cheating?
Evan: Yeah, but, you know, with a wink.
Sheldon: I don't like winking either.
Evan: What's wrong with winking?
Sheldon: At the end of the day, it leaves you with an uneven number of blinks per eye.

Evan: That's insane.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm insane? You're the cheating winker. Are you from California?
Evan: Oh, now you want to know where I'm from.
Sheldon: I think I know enough. Goodbye.
Evan: Thanks for cleaning up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. Also, the toilet bowl is still disinfecting, so I wouldn't use it for another 20 to 30 minutes.

Sheldon: I'll keep the room clean if you keep the game clean.
Evan: Okay.
Adult Sheldon: We had had our first fight, but, at the end of the day, it really brought what's-his-name and I closer together.

Adult Sheldon: It took 14 hours, 211 lives ... but I emerged victorious. [triumphant video game music plays] [taps Evan's shoulder as he sleeps] Hey, cheater guy, I won. Fair and square.
Evan: What time is it?
Sheldon: 7:42 am. We should celebrate. Do you have any Yoo-hoo?
Evan: No.
Sheldon: Wait here. I'll go get some.
Adult Sheldon: I wish I could tell you we toasted my victory, but I fell asleep in the hallway.

Mandy: Hey, where's Sheldon?
Missy: Probably out in the garage.
George: Should someone tell him breakfast is ready?
Mary: Oh, no, this is lovely.
[Missy, Mandy, Georgie and George all look at Mary]
Mary: Uh, let him sleep, jet lag and all.
Georgie: Hmm, the whole summer with him was enough, huh?
Mary: If you want me to get him, I'll go get him.
Missy: That's okay.
George: No, it's fine.
Mandy: Okay.

Sheldon: [CeeCee cries] Look, Mother, more babies.