Evan: It's your call. Particle accelerator, or no particle accelerator?
Sheldon: Let me fetch my money sock.
Evan: You keep your money in a sock?
Sheldon: My meemaw keeps her money in her bra.

Joaquin: The problem is we've lost control. This is Frankenstein's monster.
Sheldon: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Joaquin: What?
Sheldon: To reanimate life was an incredible scientific achievement. The real bad guys in the story are the ignorant villagers.
Joaquin: You were on the monster's side?
Sheldon: Unfairly hounded for being different? You betcha.

Mary: Well, we disagree. Reverend Travis says that the Lord wants me to be prosperous and I believe him.
Pastor Jeff: This is nothing but a coincidence. You overpaid your taxes, you got a refund, Jesus has nothing to do with it.
Mary: You sound like Sheldon.
Pastor Jeff: I believe I know my way out. [Mary points to the door]

Georgie: I'll tell you what I can do. I got something for a party that's better than beer.
Missy: What?
Georgie: Bottle rockets, Roman candles, M80s, the works.
Missy: Oh, sure. Thanks.
Georgie: You're not excited now, but trust me, you blow up one mailbox, and you got yourself a party.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Missy.
Missy: Hey. What are you doing?
Billy Sparks: Just breaking in my new shoes for school. They're brown.
Missy: Cool. Can I watch your TV?
Billy Sparks: Sure. [leather squeaking] That squeaking you're hearing is my new shoes.

Missy: Where's your mom at?
Billy Sparks: She went to my Aunt Sylvia's for a few days. Aunt Sylvia has a big lump on her neck.
Missy: So you're alone?
Billy Sparks: Just me and my chickens.
Missy: Billy, we have to throw a party.
Billy Sparks: For the chickens?
Missy: No! For us!

Missy: What do you mean "why"? Your mom's not home.
Billy Sparks: What would we do? Play games?
Missy: Yeah, drinking games.
Billy Sparks: Like when you paid me a dollar to chug a gallon of milk?
Missy: That was a different game, and I'm sorry.
Billy Sparks: Boy, did I throw up.
Missy: For this party, I'm thinking beer.
Billy Sparks: We're not old enough to drink beer.
Missy: That's why kids'll come.
Billy Sparks: Smart. Do you think they'll like eggs? I have so many eggs.

Pastor Jeff: So, what can we do for you?
George: Well, I was thinking maybe it was time for Mary to come back to the church. You know, be a part of your herd again.
Pastor Jeff: We say flock.
Peg: Although, Texas... herd works. With all the beef and whatnot.

Donny: Hey, mister, will you buy us some beer?
Billy Sparks: I'm not old enough. [they walk off] Those guys thought I was a grown-up.
Missy: Billy!
Billy Sparks: What?
[cut to the inside of the liquor store:]
Clark: Here's your change.
Billy Sparks: [deeper voice] Thank you.
[Billy just stands there]
Clark: You can go now.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.

Missy: [on the phone] Hey, Mrs. Sparks.
Brenda Sparks: What are y'all up to?
Missy: Just hanging out.
Brenda Sparks: Cut the crap. You throwing a party, ain't you?
Missy: What? No.
Brenda Sparks: Relax, I'm all for it. I want my son to have a life. Wait, he's invited, right?
Missy: 'Course. We're just making a dance floor.
Brenda Sparks: Oh, God, Missy, do not let him dance.

Evan: Uh, he's helping me write an algorithm so, uh, we can beat the stock market.
Sheldon: Why?
Evan: Uh, well, so we can get rich, buy cool cars and get girls.
Joaquin: But mostly the girls.
Sheldon: Isn't the search for knowledge its own reward?
Evan: Uh, yeah, sure, if the knowledge helps you get girls.
Sheldon: That seems like a lot of unnecessary effort just to meet females.
Evan: Yeah, we've tried talking to them.
Joaquin: Actual disaster.
Evan: You want to help us?
Sheldon: I don't need to meet girls. In fact, I'd like to know fewer people, not more.

Joaquin: You could use the money to buy yourself something fun.
Sheldon: Ooh, like a particle accelerator or 100 tanks of liquid nitrogen.
Joaquin: I was thinking of a hot tub, but okay.
Evan: I can't get you to take a shower, and-and you want a hot tub?
Joaquin: Girls like hot tubs.
Evan: How much would it cost to build a particle accelerator?
Sheldon: Conservatively, four to ten billion dollars.
Evan: Then you need to help us.
Sheldon: Hmm. Well, I haven't done much coding, but I am good at everything. Okay, I'm in charge. Scoot.

Mary: So how are you and Dale getting along?
Meemaw: Well, I rode a bike seven miles to have coffee with you, so that should tell you.
Mary: Not going well?
Meemaw: Oh, it's fine. It's just, after you've lived by yourself for a long time, having a roommate takes a little getting used to.
Mary: I'm sure Dale's doing his best.
Meemaw: That's my fear.

George: Mare, what's this $50 to an "R.T.L.M."?
Mary: Reverend Travis Lemon Ministries. I made a donation.
Meemaw: The goofy guy with the hair?
Mary: He's not goofy, and he preaches the gospel in a way that speaks to me.
George: Yeah, well, let me speak to you. We can't be throwing away 50 bucks.
Mary: We are not throwing it away. We are gonna get that money back plus some.
Meemaw: Oh, honey, now, come on. You can't possibly believe that B.S.
Mary: Maybe. Reverend Travis says that Jesus wants us to prosper.
Meemaw: Is that why he huffed and puffed and blew my house down?

Evan: Well, gentlemen, we've doubled our income in a little over eight hours.
Sheldon: I'm gonna need a bigger sock.
Evan: The good news is, our algorithm is working, and it's getting more efficient with every trade.
Sheldon: Which is why we have to stay strong. We can't expect to be millionaires overnight. It'll take... 12 to 14 business days.