Dale: All right. So I believe that completes the sky. Satisfying, huh? [Meemaw looks unimpressed] So, what do you think? Want to get some exercise, go for a walk until you start beeping?
Meemaw: Ha, ha, ha. It's not funny. My life is in shambles, and I'm too old to start over.
Dale: Oh, come on. You are not too old. Now, listen, you are a smart, vibrant, perky woman.
Meemaw: Perky?
Dale: Well, yeah, compared to me. [chuckles] And I'll tell you another thing. Your life's not over. You are writing a new chapter in the book of you. A book where a perky heroine rises up and...
Meemaw: And what?
Dale: I don't know. Y-You want to get drunk?
Meemaw: Yes.
Dale: Great. I'm gonna run to the liquor store. You want to come with me?
Meemaw: Dale!
Dale: Right. Okay. Be back in a jiffy. [exits]
Meemaw: God help me, I love him.

George: Not bad, huh?
Georgie: I don't know. Might look better by the fence.
George: Look better? It's a big plastic crap house.

Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
George: You wanted a toilet? Voilà.
Mary: Where did you get it?
George: From the high school. We got, like, ten of 'em for visiting teams. Yeah... give it a whirl.
Sheldon: I'd rather die.

Missy: Is there a light inside?
George: No.
Georgie: Trust me, that's a good thing.
George: We'll just tie a flashlight to the handle.
Mandy: Huh. I always wondered what rock bottom would look like.
George: Come on, at least check it out.
[After George pats on the door of the portable toilet, Mandy sighs and looks inside]
Mandy: I checked, I'm out. [door closes]

Audrey: I called it. I said no good would come of this marriage.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot. You said it at the wedding. But, uh, still, you know, I... I think you could be a little nicer to him.
Audrey: Sure, I can also go out in the backyard and water the crabgrass.

Audrey: The good news is, with Amanda back in the house, I can help her come to her senses.
Jim: Good plan. Hey, uh, in the meantime, I was thinking of putting Georgie to work at the store.
Audrey: There you go, watering the crabgrass.
Jim: It's not charity, all right? He'll work.
Audrey: He's a criminal, Jim.

Georgie: And what I want is to take care of you and CeeCee and maybe someday a Georgie Junior Junior.
Mandy: You mean George the Third.
Georgie: No, that's too fancy. He'd get his ass kicked.
Mandy: Mm, yeah.

Jim: And for your information, those little backroom slot machines are all over town.
Audrey: How do you know?
Jim: People tell me stuff. [off Audrey's look] I... I just got... I got one of them faces.

Georgie: Morning. Have a seat.
Mandy: Georgie made us breakfast. Isn't that nice?
Audrey: Oh, well, look at that. Thank you.
Georgie: My pleasure.
Audrey: I guess I'll just have to run to the supermarket later and get some more eggs for that cake I was going to make.
Georgie: Oh, no problem. I-I can go to the grocery store.
Audrey: Oh. Apparently we're not job-hunting today.
Jim: Oh, speaking of jobs. [off Audrey's look] Good luck to you, son.

Audrey: What are you doing?
Georgie: Cleaning out these rain gutters. Otherwise, the water gets backed up and wrecks havoc on your roof.
Audrey: Wreaks... havoc.
Georgie: No, I'm pretty sure it's wrecks, 'cause that's what it do. [Audrey walks off] [Georgie finds an object under the leaves] Oh, look at that. [door opens] Audrey, is this your Wham-O? [door closes] Audrey?

Bryce: The good news is, I've had some encouraging talks with the district attorney, and I think that we can...
Meemaw: Hang on. How old are you?
Bryce: I know I look young, but I'm 24.
Meemaw: You bring me a child attorney?
Dale: Well, you were about to take advice from a 14-year-old.
Bryce: Oh, who's that? I might know him.

Dale: Come on, Connie.
Bryce: Yeah. No one wants to see a grandma behind bars.
Dale: Great-grandma.
Bryce: Oh, wow.
Dale: Yeah. How old are you?
Meemaw: None of your business.
Bryce: So, do I tell 'em we have a deal?
Meemaw: Okay, fine.
Dale: Oh, thank God. I'm too old to find somebody new.

Meemaw: By the way, what is that porta-potty doing out there in your yard?
Mary: We're having plumbing issues. We need a new septic tank.
Meemaw: Ouch.
Mary: Tell me about it. How much you got in there?
Meemaw: None of your business.
Mary: It's in my wall!
Meemaw: It's the devil's money, Mary. You don't want it.
Mary: I don't care. Last night, I went to pee and there was a snake in there.
Meemaw: Here you go. Get yourself some indoor plumbing.
Mary: Oh, Mommy, thank you. [hugs Meemaw]
Missy: [shrieks] Snake's back! Snake's back!
Meemaw: Nice house.

Georgie: [enters] Got the job. Part-time bag boy.
Jim: Well. They let you take the apron home?
Georgie: Aw, shoot.
Mandy: [chuckles] That's great, Georgie. I'm really proud of you.
Georgie: It's only temporary till I find something better.
[After Jim looks to Audrey, she nods and sighs]
Jim: Listen, Georgie, Audrey and I were thinking... [Audrey clears her throat] I was thinking... I could really use some help down at the tire store.
Georgie: Really? Selling tires? [takes off apron] You are not gonna regret this. I'll work my butt off for you. Nights, weekends, holidays... you name it, I am there.
Jim: Pretty impressive kid, huh?
Audrey: We'll see.
Mandy: "We'll see"? [scoffs] Good job.
Georgie: Told you.

George: What the hell is... Oh, a snake! Snake! Oh! A snake! [whimpers] Snake! Mary?! Bring a towel!