Jim Quote #15

Quote from Jim in the episode An Ankle Monitor and a Big Plastic Crap House

Jim: And for your information, those little backroom slot machines are all over town.
Audrey: How do you know?
Jim: People tell me stuff. [off Audrey's look] I... I just got... I got one of them faces.

Jim Quotes

Quote from the episode A Baby Shower and Testosterone-Rich Banter

Mary: Hi, Jim.
Jim: Hey, Mary. Good to see you. You looking for some tires?
Mary: Actually, I'm looking for your wife.
Jim: Oh. You're not gonna yell at her again, are you?
Mary: No, no.
Jim: Okay, you sure about that? 'Cause I wouldn't mind seeing it.

Quote from the episode Community Service and the Key to a Happy Marriage

Georgie: Yeah, life would be so much easier if they just realized how alike they are.
Jim: Don't say that. Don't ever say that.
Georgie: We're alone in a closet. You said I could speak my mind.
Jim: Yeah, yeah, but not that.
Georgie: So where?
Jim: Nowhere. They, uh... they'll know.

Quote from the episode Funeral

Audrey: Mary. We're so sorry.
Mary: Thank you.
Jim: Well, I didn't know him long, but, uh, I loved that guy.
Georgie: [nods] He felt like y'all were long-lost friends.
Jim: [voice breaking] Oh, here we go.
Mandy: Come on, let's get you some Kleenex.

‘An Ankle Monitor and a Big Plastic Crap House’ Quotes

Quote from Sheldon

George: Studying for a test?
Sheldon: Studying to take the bar exam. Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it.
George: Seriously?
Sheldon: Common law was invented by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. I think I can hack it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] What?
Sheldon: Oh, my, you look terrible. [covers his nose and mouth with his inner elbow] Are you sick?
Meemaw: Of life, yes.
Sheldon: Oh, good. [lowers elbow] That's not contagious.
Meemaw: Get in here. The light's killing me.
Sheldon: You smell like alcohol. Yucky.

Quote from Dale

Mandy: Do they know about Georgie?
Meemaw: No, of course not.
Dale: Your grandma's not a snitch. Which, by the way, will serve you well if you end up in the slammer.
Meemaw: The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you?
Dale: I like cop shows. You learn things.