Georgie: Who's that guy?
Mandy: It's Donny Osmond.
Georgie: Never heard of him.
Mandy: You know, Donny and Marie?
Georgie: Sometimes I forget how old you are.
Mandy: Thank you.

Mandy: I'm sorry about my mom.
Georgie: You kidding? We got a double bed and an indoor bathroom. She can spit in my Corn Flakes, and I'm a happy camper.
Mandy: Good, 'cause she might.
Georgie: Don't worry. I'll win her over.
Mandy: She thinks you ruined my life.
Georgie: So? You thought I ruined your life, and you married me.

Mandy: We're gonna be okay, right?
Georgie: Oh, of course.
Mandy: How can you be so sure?
Georgie: Hey, you didn't just marry a pretty boy like Danny over here.
Mandy: Donny.
Georgie: Yeah, him. You know, I'm the hardest worker you'll ever meet. When I see something I want, I don't stop till I get it.
Mandy: You are relentless.

Dale: Has this worked before?
Sheldon: It has.
Meemaw: Oh. Well, that's good news.
Sheldon: The bad news is, you'll probably be institutionalized.
Meemaw: You-you... you want me to go to the nuthouse?
Sheldon: I want you to stay out of prison.
Meemaw: Oh, Moon Pie, thank you. Thank you so much. I really do appreciate it, but I'm fine.

Georgie: Got your eggs, everything on the list.
Audrey: Thank you.
Georgie: Also filled out an application to be a bag boy while I was there.
Audrey: Oh. Wonderful. My son-in-law, the bag boy.
Georgie: It's only temporary. I'll make my way up to cashier, then night manager, then manager-manager, then regional supervisor, then it's just a hop, skip and a jump to HQ. That's short for headquarters.
Audrey: You can do all that without a high school diploma?
Georgie: If you're a member of the can-do club.
Audrey: God help me. [exits]
Georgie: I'll just put these away.
Mandy: [enters] What's the can-do club, and why is my mom so mad about it?

Georgie: And the wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." [Audrey stands in the doorway] Don't worry. Daddy'll never let that happen to you. I'm gonna keep you safe. [chuckles] Uh-oh. Somebody needs a new diaper. Come on, let's get you one. Oh, hey. She's got you and Mandy's good looks, but... phew... she poops like her dad. [laughs]
Audrey: Lovely. [walks off]
Georgie: [to CeeCee] Your grandma's coming around on me. [laughs] Yeah, she is.

Bryce: A deal can be made without going to trial. You plead guilty, pay a fine, lose your business license, maybe some community service, probation, but no jail time.
Meemaw: So I'll lose the gambling room, but I can keep the Laundromat and the video store?
Bryce: No. Those are all considered a part of the criminal enterprise. They get confiscated.
Meemaw: What if I fight it?
Bryce: On what grounds?
Meemaw: I didn't have an illegal gambling room. I collected... antique slot machines. It was my hobby.
Bryce: And the evading arrest?
Meemaw: I was just taking my great-granddaughter for a brisk stroll.
Dale: I'm confused. Did we start the insanity thing?

Bryce: I think you should take this deal. Put everything behind you, get on with your life.
Meemaw: What life? I have no life.
Dale: You have me.
Meemaw: Yeah, yeah. What if I had something to offer? Then maybe I could keep my businesses and skip the fine?
Bryce: What are you thinking?
Meemaw: That greedy rat of a cop I was paying off.
Bryce: Rutledge? He's the one who flipped on you.
Meemaw: Son of a bitch. You can't even trust a dirty cop these days.

Mary: What are you doing?
Meemaw: Making a withdrawal.
Mary: You put a hole in my wall and hid money in it?
Meemaw: It seemed safe. I mean, who'd look for money in this dump?
Mary: Why do you need it?
Meemaw: Legal fees. Maybe a new gambling room.
Mary: Mom.

Missy: Toilet's backed up.
George: What? Don't look at me. I just got home.
Missy: Yeah, but it's had years of you.
George: [sighs] I'll check it out.

Georgie: Hey, we're back.
Meemaw: Hey, hi.
Mandy: Where's my little girl?
Meemaw: Um, she's with Mary.
Mandy: Why?
Meemaw: Well, how do I put this?
[Meemaw kicks her leg up onto the table to show off her ankle monitor]
Georgie: What the heck is that?
Meemaw: I'm under house arrest.

George: [trying to unclog a toilet] Come on, little buddy. You can do it. Talk to me. There you go. Let it out. [water shoots up] Aah! [groans]
Missy: Years.

Phil: Here's the estimate. I'm gonna need 50% down to get started.
George: Are you kidding me? We're fixing a toilet, not buying a car.
Missy: Good thing I wasn't going to college.
Phil: Nothing's wrong with your toilet. Septic tank is shot. [George sighs]
Missy: What's a septic tank?
Phil: It's basically a big container under the backyard that's filled up with all your... bathroom business.
Missy: Ew! I played in that yard.
George: Missy, not now. Come on, Phil. Isn't there some kind of friends and family discount? I mean, we went to high school together.
Phil: Yeah, and you were mean to me.
George: Oh, come on! I-I was mad at the world, not just you!
Missy: I ate that dirt.

Mary: Did he fix it?
George: Not quite. And he's still a weasel.
Mary: What'd he do?
George: Look. [hands Mary the estimate]
Mary: [gasps] What a weasel.

Mandy: What are we gonna do? I mean, we're six people. We need a toilet.
George: Don't worry. Georgie, come with me.
Georgie: Where are we going?
George: I got a plan.
Georgie: Is it a good plan?
George: Eh. [makes unsure hand gesture]